I know I’m in the clear. I’ve been tested, and I haven’t been with a woman in years. But just because my inner caveman wants to rush full speed ahead and damn the consequences, I need to be practical about this.
Stilling Bea’s hand, I say, “Hang on.”
Then I leap off the bed and begin a mad search for my wallet. Which, of course, isn’t easy to find because I threw my damn pants across the room. And somewhere in their travels, the wallet slipped out, so it’s somewhere in here, hiding. Silently mocking me.
By the time I locate my wallet—under the fucking dresser, of all places—Bea’s sitting up in bed, giggling, instead of laying there all sexy like I left her.
I pull the lone condom from my wallet and hold it up triumphantly. “Found it.”
Bea dissolves into laughter. “Good job.”
After a quick check of the date—still good, thank God—I stalk towards her. In a mock-stern tone, I ask, “Are you laughing at me?”
She shakes her head quickly. “No. Of course not.” But laughter is still dancing in her eyes.
I rip the package open and put the condom on. Then I crawl onto the bed and climb over Bea, pinning her hands above her head again. My lips twitch as I try to hide my smile. “I think you were laughing at me. You could have helped me look, you know.”
“I could have,” she agrees. “But then I wouldn’t have gotten to watch you run around the room naked.” She grins. “And trust me. That wasdefinitelyworth watching.”
The last fragments of my self-consciousness fall away as I laugh along with her.
And even though we haven’t even had sex yet, I know she was right.
It’s not weird.
It’s perfect.
Just like this.
I notch myself between Bea’s legs, feeling her opening for me.
Desire pulses inside me, demanding I hurry.
But.
I don’t want to hurt her. I don’t know how long it’s been.
And though I used to be able to last a long time, that was years ago. Now the very thought of being inside Bea has me close to finishing already. So maybe I should slow things down. Kiss her all over like I did in my fantasies. Make her come with my fingers and mouth before I even think of anything further.
Bea wraps her legs around my hips, holding me to her. “I want you inside me. Please.”
The tip of my erection slips in, just barely.
It’s a painfully perfect tease.
“I want you to be ready,” I tell Bea through a jaw clenched from the effort of holding back. “I don’t want to rush you.”
Her wide blue eyes meet mine. “You’re not rushing me. If you recall, I’m the one who made the first move.”
True.
But it’s my job to protect her.
“You did,” I agree. Pausing, I nuzzle that sensitive spot below her jaw. “But if I hurt you…”
“It’s been a while.” A flush spreads across Bea’s cheeks. “Like… four years a while. So I know it might hurt for a second. But that’s okay.”
“It’snotokay.” The thought of Bea in pain is abhorrent.
