But he hasn’t. Not even close.
I may have to concede this battle. But the war isfarfrom over.
CHAPTER 18
BEA
There hasto be a way out of this.
Right?
Oh, please. Therehasto be.
This can’t be the end. Not now. Not after everything I’ve gone through. Not after everythingIndy’sbeen through.
Because it’s not just me with everything to lose. It’s Indy, too.
As our captor marches us further into the darkness—the ever-present syringe still inches from my neck—it’s impossible not to think about all the things I don’t want to lose.
My parents. They’re expecting us three days from now for a visit; their first time meeting Indy in person instead of the video calls he took to joining so they could get to know him better.
“I know they don’t trust me,”Indy explained before that first call.“And I get it. But I want them to know I’ll do anything to keep you safe.”
It took a while, but he won them over. And even though my dad still grumbles about the risks Indy took, I know he’s glad Indy did it.
My mom can’t wait to meet Indy. She thinks what he did was romantic. Swooping in to rescue me, spiriting me away in the dark of night, putting his own freedom in jeopardy to protect me…
She loves romance novels. So I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.
But we’re supposed to go there. My mom is supposed to show Indy my old baby pictures. My dad and Indy are supposed to debate which is better, the Marines or the Army. And the people I love most in the world will all be together.
Because I love Indy. I thought it had to be too soon to be love. But it isn’t.
And if only one of us can make it out of here, I’d rather it be him than me.
I want both of us to escape, of course. I want to go to Oregon with Indy and see where our future leads. I want dates and game nights and trips to visit our friends. I want to try all the bendy things he mentioned before and maybe even those handcuffs I saw online. I want months with Indy. Years. Possibly a lifetime.
I want to be there whenever he doubts himself, so I can tell him how amazing he is. I can remind him that having a prosthetic doesn’t make him any less.
If we get out of here, I can tell Indy I love him.
I can tell him all the things I’ve held in my heart, like how he’s the first man I’ve ever really loved. How I don’t worry about how loud I’m talking when I’m with him, or if my implants are peeking through my hair. How I’ve never felt beautiful until I met him. How I think he’s the bravest man I’ve ever met.
I want so many things.
But I know wanting something doesn’t make it happen.
Wanting didn’t fix my hearing. It didn’t save Indy’s hand. It didn’t help Jenna’s parents, who would doanythingto have their daughter back.
“It’s going to be okay,” Indy promised me as we climbed into the back of our captor’s van. “I know it seems bad. But we can get out of this.”
Moments later, that horrible man injected Indy with something. Less than thirty seconds after that, Indy was unconscious. And I was shoved in beside him, tied up and gagged, nearly hyperventilating from fear and horror.
I thought Indy was dead.
God.
That was the worst moment of my life.
