Vivianne
Ladd blinked back at me, confused. He wasn’t the only one. “Why in the world would I want to leave?”
“You were crying this morning, and the only other person in the house was Mom.”
“So, you think your mother upset me, and now we’re going to just leave before Christmas and the event?”
He frowned. “Well, no. I mean, I’d hope not. That’s not like my mother at all. But something is clearly off.”
I exhaled and took his hand and walked to the middle of the room. “Can we clean up?” I asked, needing something to focus on while we talked.
Looking around, he nodded. “If you want, we can. You gather up the rolls of wrapping paper and put ’em back in those plastic bins, and I’ll get the scraps.”
We worked in silence for a few minutes as I gathered up my courage to tell Ladd about my past. I had asked Nellie to make sure no one came into the room while we cleaned, because I was finally going to tell Ladd my secret.
“When I was a junior in high school,” I started, “I was dating this guy. His name was Robert. He wasthe starting quarterback, and there was already buzz from colleges that were interested in him.”
Ladd stopped working, but I kept cleaning. It was a cowardly thing to do, but I couldn’t bring myself to watch his expression as I explained.
“Let me start further back. I told you a bit about my parents.”
“Yes. A little.”
“Well,” I said, as I picked up a roll of wrapping paper with little bears dressed as Santa. “I don’t think my mother and father ever wanted a child. I was more of a…necessity. It made them look like a family, and that’s really what my father needed. An image of the perfect family.
“When they deemed it necessary, I’d be dressed in my finest attire and paraded in front of their friends and business associates. Afterward, I was sent to my room…and maybe I’d get dinner, if someone could be bothered to remember to send it up. There was a maid who worked for us for a while who always remembered me, and she’d send up dinner. After she left, I usually had to sneak down to grab something.
“If the party or event was somewhere else, my father would hire someone to take me home, or back to our hotel if we were in another town or state. I never stayed in the same room as my parents. Not even when I was as young as five. Of course, at that age, I had a nanny who stayed with me. The point is, I wasn’t raised in a loving household like you and your brothers.”
When he didn’t say anything, I went on.
“So…when I found out halfway through my junior year that I was pregnant with Robert’s baby, I totally panicked.” I didn’t look at Ladd for fear of seeing his expression. “I knew hewouldn’t want the baby. My parentsdefinitelywouldn’t. And truth be told, I wasn’t going to be able to give a baby the life they deserved. Before I’d even told anyone, I’d decided to give the baby up for adoption, and I knew Robert would be on board. He wouldn’t want to give up football.”
I paused and drew in a breath before starting again. “I told Robert first—and he was relieved, to say the least, that I wanted to give the baby up for adoption. We told his parents, and they said they’d be there for me during the pregnancy, and they’d help however they could.
“My parents, on the other hand, were completely outraged. Worried about what everyone would think if they found out. My father said that if he could, he’d kick me out of the house immediately. That part, I didn’t tell your mother. She already looked horrified as it was.”
“You told my mother all of this?” Ladd asked, sitting down on the sofa.
“Just the pregnancy stuff. And I don’t knowwhyI told her…I’ve never told anyone, Ladd. Not another single person. Being around your family, though… Then this morning, I was watching from the window. You with your dad and brother, so loving toward each other…I realized I was jealous. And I broke down. When Nellie came to my room and saw me crying, she was so kind to me. I just let it all spill out.”
“Viv, what did your parents do? You said your father wanted to kick you out?”
Drawing in a deep breath, I exhaled. “I made them a promise that no one would find out. When I started showing a little, I wore baggy clothes. My father arranged for me to take my finals early since I was so far ahead in school, and he was a senator with a lot of pull.”
Ladd’s eyes went wide. “Wait? Your father? He was a senator?”
“He still is.”
He nodded. “My God. What happened after that?”
“They sent me to a home for girls who’re pregnant and unwed, run by Catholic nuns, and I stayed there until I had the baby that August.”
Ladd looked stunned. “You were all alone?”
“Well, Robert stopped by a couple times to see me and made sure I didn’t need anything. His parents hired a lawyer, and they took care of all my bills, as well as any expenses related to the adoption, because my mother and father refused to pay for anything. His parents also offered to let me live with them after I had the baby. But by that time, Robert and I were basically just friends. He’d started dating another girl without his parents’ knowledge, so I wasn’t about to take them up on their offer, even though I would have loved to. My own parents told me that the second I graduated, I was on my own. Said I needed to be out of their house.”
Ladd closed his eyes and balled his hand into a fist. “How could they do that to their own daughter?”
