Alexandra
My heart skips.James makes me want to throw my hesitations out the window. He’s been through so much in his life already, yet he wants to add my mess to the mix. “My turn. Tell me about your all-time favorite relationship you’ve had.”
“Easy.” He smirks. “It hasn’t happened yet.” James watches me with an intensity that has me squirming in my robe.
Heat travels up my neck and blazes over my cheeks. “Right. Okay. Your turn.”
He taps his chin. “What’s your biggest turn on in a man?”
My face feels like it’s on fire. I’m one more comment away from launching myself into a pile of snow outside. “I don’t think I should answer that.” I pick at my fingers in my lap, avoiding his gaze.
James chuckles and takes a drink from his mug, thearoma from the still-steaming cocoa invading my senses. “Alright, alright. What else do you want to know?”
I chance a peek from my lashes and immediately regret it. How am I supposed to resist that? His cream sweater without a wrinkle in sight is making his green eyes pop in the firelight. The woodsy smell clings to him like he was made for it. I’m fighting my body’s urge to lean into him. Into the moment.
Wait. Am I already falling into the trap that he says we are inevitable? Maybe.
I need to stop being such a relationship hopper. Maybe he’d be fine with just having a good time for now. Or maybe it’s time I take a page out of Ash’s book and avoid relationships. It’s not like they’ve been working for me lately.
I grind my lip through my teeth, trying to go over my life options, and my eyes dart back to James. His eyes are locked on my mouth. I release my lip with a pop. “What?”
His gaze jumps to mine. “If you keep biting your lip like that, we might have to speed up the timeline.”
My cheeks flush further. “How can you confidently just let that shit slip out of your mouth?”
James leans close, his lips grazing my neck. I resist the urge to gravitate closer yet. My arousal is radiating off me. I suppressing a whimper and rub my legs together to try to ease some of the ache.
“I’m barely controlling myself around you,” he whispers, “so worrying about what my mouth says is the leastof my worries. I can’t stop thinking about that mouth, ever since our first kiss.”
My head turns involuntarily towards him. We’re inches apart, but he’s not moving. He’s waiting to see what I will do next, but I have no fucking clue how we even got to this point. My heart is pounding in my head. He has to be able to hear it, if not feel it vibrating the air around us. My mind is waging war on my body at hyper speed.Is it too soon? Does time matter when you’re cheated on? What if this all ends tomorrow? What if it’s only temporary?
But then the loudest voice comes through the chaos. ‘Life is short, babygirl. It can all be gone in an instant. Be bold. Make the choices that scare you the most.’ My grandma. She was wild and free. She never regretted changing careers or who she chose in life, even if she was broke at times. She always said living was worth it because she watched enough people die before they did anything worthwhile.
James’s mouth curls up on one side like he has me all figured out, his pine scent wrapping around me like a warm hug. My mind goes silent as I slowly lean closer, gently brushing my lips against his. Just a whisper of a kiss that sets my life on fire before I pull back. My eyes flutter open as I take in the sliver of green still showing in his.Oops. I think I pushed him too far.
His lips crash into mine, his hands tangling into my hair at the nape of my neck. A moan slips from my lips as I brace my hands on his chest. We take our time exploringeach other, but yet it ends too quickly. We pull apart. I’m not sure who did it first, but slowly I blink up at him like he didn’t just upend my entire existence with a kiss.
He’s still looking at me with those eyes. The ones that want to eat me alive. “You should go before things escalate.”
I wipe my sweaty palms on my robe. “Yeah. I…I should go to my room.”
I push off the couch, taking my mug with me. I turn to tell him goodnight when I notice his gaze hasn’t left me, and neither has the intense look in them while he’s looking down at the robe I’m in. I look down. Fucking thing. It’s parted again. James isn’t getting a full show, but it definitely isn’t PG. I huff and take off down the hall. I need to get clothes on before this goes right where he said he wasn’t ready for it to.
I make it to my door and shut it quickly behind me like I’m being chased. Obviously, James isn’t following, but why do I wish he had?
No, stop it.We can make it through one night without me trying to rip his clothing off like a teenager. I just need to redirect my energy into my art. Yeah, that’s it.
I rush to the closet and pull on shorts and a tank top. Why did I let Ashlyn pack my bag?Ugh.It seemed like such an empowering moment, explore my sexuality, free myself.Yeah, great.These shorts barely cover my ass, so I guess I’m stuck in my room for the rest of the night.
I start digging out my paints and a fresh canvas. Unfolding my compact easel, I place it near the largewindow and drag the nightstand over, so I can use it as a table for my supplies. After I have everything organized the way I like, I squeeze out some white, black, and blue paint to start my background. The second my brush glides across the page I’m lost. The noise fades away, the thoughts blissfully drift into their boxes. I let out a breath and really let myself go to the process.
I am halfway through the background when the lights flicker, then go out completely.Shit.
CHAPTER 13
James
“Who doesn’t havea generator for a house in the woods?” Alex crosses her arms in front of her chest, which only causes the tiny strappy thing she’s wearing to allow more of her breasts to spill from the silk material.
