He fought the desperate sob that pushed against his ribs. This was good. He was glad Evan wasn’t arguing. Not having another awkward conversation made this infinitely easier. They would have this last moment together to remember and cherish, and that was so much better than walking away filled with anger or resentment.
Heath repeated the mantra while kissing Evan’s sweat-dampened ginger curls. He basked in the light, alluring scent that was Evan’s alone, praying it would cling to his own skin for just a little while longer.
Evan remained silent throughout his goodbye. Eyes closed, he turned away when Heath shifted, lifting his own weight to make slipping out of the bed easier. He wanted to say something, but didn’t dare. Any words coming out of him now would betray the false strength he clung to until he reached the other side of the porch’s closed door.
Collapsing on the bed, he choked with sadness and regret. Poured his heart into the linens, even as he shoved aside the doubts fighting to undo his resolve.
I haven’t given a shit about anyone’s opinion of me in years, but from the moment we met, yours has mattered.
Whatever kept Evan on his father’s leash would still be there in the morning, and every morning after. It wasn’t going away. So no matter how desperately he wished it weren’t so, tomorrow they would go their separate ways, because Heath refused to be a dirty little secret ever again. Not even for Evan Westin.
chapter 32
. . .
He was gone. Forever.
Heath dragged his weary carcass from the bed and listened for movement before daring to creep into the bathroom. Hollow and dehydrated, he was a disheveled husk of doubt and misery, but no matter what, he knew he must stand on principle.
It was quiet outside his door; the coast appeared clear, until he stepped into the hall and found a small obstacle course waiting for him.
Couch cushions and pillows formed uneven terrain, but a cushy landing space. Evan had propped unbreakable trinkets in unstable places so they’d make noise if knocked to the floor. If he’d gone sleepwalking, he wouldn’t have gotten far.
How he had any tears left, he didn’t know, but they welled and streamed down his cheeks at the thoughtful, creative little warning bells intended to keep him safe.
Damn that man. Damn his beautiful face and romantic heart. His wit, his brilliance, and his deeply hidden softness. Damn him for being exactly the person Heath had always hoped tofind, trapped in a world he had no business and no desire to join.
Did he say thank you or read him the riot act?
Turned out Evan had made the decision for him. He found the bedroom door open, the bed made, and all traces of its occupant gone.
“He went ahead just before sunrise. Had a private plane waiting,” Marta explained with deeply apologetic eyes when he’d entered the lobby with his bags.
“Oh. Of course. I should have known.”
He left the front desk in a daze, not caring if Marta and Gracie knew the truth. It didn’t matter, because he’d never see them again.
“Heath? Honey, are you okay?”
Isabella appeared on the path as though summoned by the call of his sadness. He looked at her and shook his head, dissolving into tears before she’d even gotten close enough to wrap her arms around him.
“This is the right choice.” It was more a question than a statement. “It was the only choice, Iz.”
She nodded and petted his hair back from his forehead. “I know, honey, but you’re still allowed to be sad about it.”
“That’s good, because I’m pretty fucking devastated.”
They sat together on the patio, watching the birds diving for their breakfast as a light breeze carried the scent of liana fragante across the stones. Heath sipped his tea while Isabella alternated between her cappuccino and an orange and berry scone.
“These are delicious. You should have one.”
“I’m not hungry, but thank you.”
“I’ll have Chef make you a care package to take with you. Spare you the airport food.”
More tears threatened as he nodded and hid behind his teacup.
“Good morning, my dears!” Olivia strolled up to their table and helped herself to a seat. “Are you all packed and ready?”
