Ryan’s autism often disconcerts people. He’s different, and the underworld is not a place that appreciates anyone who doesn’t fit a certain mold. We all have legacies to uphold. We are born and bred to fit into neat little boxes, and Ryan definitely colors outside of those lines. It’s like people don’t know how to act around him. Some scoff. His random facts and awkward nature irritate them. Others talk to him like he’s a child, despite the fact that he is likely more intelligent than they are.
I think it’s hard for people to understand him because most have this two-dimensional view of what they perceive autism to be. They usually picture a nonverbal kid who needs a ton of support for basic life skills, or, on the other end of the spectrum, Sheldon Cooper. Ryan is neither. He’s just Ryan. He hates crowds and loud environments, but he doesn’t freak out about either. He can be irritatingly honest and maybe a little abrupt, but he also has a good sense of humor. He gets hyper-focused on certain things, but so far, only computers and technology have held his interest long term. He definitely went through a geology stage in high school, which I suppose explains the random facts about diamonds and emeralds he shared with Taryn at our engagement party. Funny, I mainly recall hearing about magma when he was younger. He’s smart. Loyal. Kind. Reserved. And I worry about him every single fucking day.
I am heartened by the easy way that Taryn has interacted with him so far. Yeah, I know. It shouldn’t be a big deal. Hell, Ryan has conversations all the time. But, the first time they spoke, he did a bit of that self-soothing thing with his fingers that sometimes freaks people out. She also saw the way he sent his food back at Titus last night when the various dishes touched on the plate. She didn’t even flinch. She carried the dialogue back to neutral ground. And, weirdly enough, they had a discussion she appeared to be genuinely interested in. She cared what my brother had to say. Spoke to him like the man that he is. I wish our father could see him the same way. Interesting. Smart. Focused.
“Is Taryn okay?”
Ryan’s question catches me off guard. “Why would you ask that?”
He raises an eyebrow at me. “Really, Liam?”
I sigh and tunnel my hands through my hair. “I have no fucking idea.” She’s run hot and cold over the past twenty-four hours. I have no idea what the next twenty-four will bring. She’s either been seducing me or crying on my shoulder since our wedding. While I love having her close, I realize we need to normalize before too long.
“Hey! Look who’s here!” Danny comes ambling into the kitchen in just his boxers, steals a strawberry from my brother’s bowl. Ryan growls. The normalcy of it all fills me with relief. The whole world hasn’t changed.
“Thanks for packing up my shit, dickhead.” I frown at him.
Danny laughs. “When did I turn into your butler?”
“Taryn’s girlfriends packed upherstuff,” I mutter.
He grins like a wolf. “Of course they did. Hell, if you looked like Taryn, I’d go out of my way for you too.”
I give him a warning look, and Danny chuckles. “What? Too soon?”
“Too stupid,” I growl, and Ryan smirks into his overnight oats like this is better than TV.
Danny throws up his hands. “Alright, alright. Guess this is the end of an era, huh? No more teasing you about your women. Can’t believe the day has finally come—Liam McGuiness, married man.”
I snort, grabbing the last beer from the fridge. I don’t care that it’s before 10 a.m. “Yeah, well, you’d better believe it. I’m married now.”
The words land heavier than I expect. Married.Christ.
Danny claps me on the shoulder, still grinning, but his voice fades under the weight of my thoughts. Married. Was it supposed to feel like this? I can’t tell if the knot in my chest is because of the vows I just took—or because of the woman I took them with.
Ryan finally looks up from his bowl, his expression as flat and unreadable as ever. “You don’t look like a guy who signed his life away,” he says. He tilts his head. Studies me. “You look…different. Serious. You’ve already decided you’re in this, whether you want to be or not.”
I stare at him, momentarily thrown. Ryan doesn’t say much, but when he does, it lands. He’s too fucking observant, my brother.
“Guess marriage suits you,” he adds with a small shrug, going back to his remaining strawberries like he didn’t just pin me to the wall with a single observation.
I open my mouth, but there’s nothing to say. He’s not wrong. I’ve been pushing for this marriage since the second I saw my chance, but what sounded fun in theory—marrying the gorgeous, sassy Walsh girl—feels like something bigger now. Real. Raw. A weight I want to carry.
“What’s the look?” Danny asks with a grin.
“Just thinking about the ball and chain.”
He bursts out laughing. I meant it as a joke to lighten the mood. Yet, it feels off somehow.
“Yeah, can’t wait to see her marching you around campus with a to-do list. Bet she already has your nuts in her purse.” Danny looks delighted. “That chick isdefinitelya ball breaker.”
I growl before I can stop myself. The sound is low, warning, and both Danny and Ryan freeze. She isn’t some chick. She’s my fucking wife.
“Whoa, easy,” Danny says, raising his hands with a laugh. “It’s just a joke, man.”
But it’s not funny. Not when it’s about her. Not when she’s mine.
Ryan studies me quietly, spoon halfway to his mouth. “Yeah. You’ve changed,” he says finally. “Didn’t think I’d see the day when my big brother stopped laughing at jokes.”
