I accept the call, stepping into the hallway beyond Poe’s kitchen as my grandma starts rapid-fire questioning me about Lucy.
“Why is our Lu all over the internet news homepage, Teej? Went to check the weather and there she is! Is she alright? They keep showing this clip of her at some award show. She told us something about this, but I’d sort of forgotten.” My grandma prattles on, and I’m half-listening while also trying to keep an eye and ear on the huddle in the living room. I can’t hear what they’re saying. Lucy is doing a lot of talking, and I just want to be close to her.
But I owe my grandma my time and focus, so I tune back in, explaining the situation and how Lucy is headed to California.
“You give her a hug for us, Teej. Tell her she’s welcome back any time, and she’s always got a place at our table.”
“I’ll tell her, Gram. Thanks.”
Gram sniffs on the other end of the line. “Take care of our girl, TJ.”
“I’m doing my best,” I say, even though I feel helpless. She’s about to walk out of my life … at least for the foreseeable future.
No.
I’m not going to think negatively. I’ll figure out how to be supportive and present … even from a distance. I end the call with my grandma, promising to keep her posted, and walk into the living room as Lucy hugs all my friends.
“All good?” I ask as she joins me. I wrap my arm around her waist.
My friends nod, and Lucy smiles up at me. “I’m ready.”
I force a smile. “Let’s get you to the airport.”
Chapter 38
Lucy
Istare at TJ’s face on our video call, hating that I’m not in the same room as him. I want to trace my finger down his nose. I want to reposition the collar of his t-shirt so I can see his tiger tattoo. I want to be close to him.
He looks away from the camera. “I’ve gotta go, Lu. Coach assigned me some extra tape to watch ahead of our game.” He glances at the camera again and attempts a smile. “Says I need to put in some more time after my terrible practice today.”
I can tell he’s trying to keep things light, so I do the same. “Tell him I think you’re the opposite of terrible.”
TJ laughs. “You tell him.”
I smile. If only I could.
TJ hasn’t come out and said it, but I think I’m the reason he’s practicing poorly. He’d never blame me, but he told me he can’t stop thinking about me.
Ditto.
I thought being apart from him would save him from worryingabout me, but I guess I was wrong.
“I’ll call you tonight.”
I muster a smile. “Sounds good. Can’t wait.”
“Okay.” He presses his lips together, looking just about as miserable as I feel. “Bye.”
“Bye.”
My list of recent calls replaces TJ’s face on the screen. This has become the worst part of our video calls … saying goodbye. Neither of us wants to. Neither of us knows how. It’s been less than a week since I kissed him for the first time. Four days since the media descended on Daisy’s Inn. Four measly days. That’s how long I’ve been back in California, away from TJ, and already I feel like a stranger in my own skin.
I thought I was doing what was best—for him and for me—by leaving. But I don’t know about that anymore. Something has to give. I’m circling around what that is and frustrated with myself for waffling, but I’m scared. Knowing I’m being cowardly is making me feel even worse. I toss my phone on my childhood bed and sigh.
“Knock knock.” My stepmom’s voice echoes from the hallway outside my room.
“Come on in, Ruby.” I sit up straighter, trying to look less melancholy than I feel.
