Those were his words, and all I can think now is that TJknowsme. He knows my secret life. He knows my past. I’ve shared more with him in the past few weeks than I have with anyone in years. Every time he looks at me, I feel like he’s savoring me and desiring more of me. It’s addicting, and I don’t want to go back to anything less.
This wasnotsupposed to happen. I’m not supposed to want him like this. We’re friends, and that’s enough for me. It has to be, and itwillbe.
I need to put the focus back where it belongs, and since I told TJ about my writing career earlier, it’s only fair that I come completely clean. As my friend, he deserves to know the truth.
“I have another secret,” I tell him, gazing up into his eyes.
His eyebrows hitch up, and his irises turn more navy. “You should definitely tell me. I love your secrets.”
That shouldn’t make me flush, but it does. As much as I don’t want to step out of his embrace, I need to, because I need to get a grip on my discombobulated emotions.
I ease back and walk to where TJ dropped the sled and saw. He follows me and retrieves them. I head in the direction of the balsam firs, and he falls into step next to me.
He bumps his shoulder into mine. “I’m waiting.”
I blow out a breath between my teeth. “Alright. Here goes.” I wince. “I ammaybebasing the main character in the book I’m drafting off of you.” I press my lips together and cut a glance at him. “Please don’t be mad.”
His face goes from shocked to delighted to smug. “Are you kidding me? I’m honored!”
“Really? You don’t care that I’ve been using you as inspiration without your consent?”
His eyes widen and then narrow. “Wait.That’swhy you said you needed inspiration the night we met?”
I nod and dip my chin, my cheeks flaming as those words he said to me play on a loop in my mind.I want to kiss you.I want that very much.
“Everything makes so much sense now.” TJ’s voice brings me back to the present. “So back there, with the butt slap and the snowball fight and the attempted tackle and the smoldering looks, were you acting out a scene or something?”
I swallow.
No.
I want to tell him that was all personal, but he’s giving me an out, an easy explanation for the weird, blurred lines. I’d be stupid not to take it.
Also, he thinks I was smoldering?WasI smoldering? I can’t explain why that makes my stomach tingle.
I shrug. “Kind of. I don’t want you to feel like I’ve been using you. That’s not my intention at all.” I hear the desperation in my own voice.
“I don’t feel used. But”—he wags his brows—“now that I know about this, I’m really going to have to turn up the charm. Give you a lot of material.”
I cover my face again, and TJ laughs.
“Come on, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I think I’ll make for a great character.”
“It won’t beyou. Though the guy’s name is Theo,” I say as an afterthought. At his shocked expression, I add, “I picked it before I knew that your name was Theodore.”
“Freaky,” he mumbles.
“Right?” I chuckle awkwardly. “Anyway.” I hope he takes my cue that I’d like to change the subject.
He does not.
“So what’s your pen name?”
“I’m not telling you that!” The thought of TJ reading my romance novels makes me want to crawl out of my skin. Why, oh why, did I have to blab to him about how I’ve never been kissed? If he reads my stuff, he’s going to know I’ve never done any of the romance business myself, and it’s going to color his entire perception of the story.
“Come on! You’re basing a character off of me and not going to let me read it? What if you’re slandering me?”
My eyes widen. “I would never.”
