TJ’s soul-searching gaze makes me feel like he wants to know everything there is to know about me. I only hope he’s not disappointed with what he finds out. He sinks into the chair next to me. “So, what did I miss? Did Carol’s chili make anyone cry this year?”
My eyes widen, trying to remember which chili sample belongs to her. “Not sure. Which one is Carol’s? Is it that bad?”
“Not bad at all. Just wickedly spicy.”
“Ah.” I nod. “Must’ve been this one.” I point to the empty bowl at the corner of my tray. “It was delicious. That’s my second bowl.”
TJ lets out a low whistle. “Impressive. Not many people finish Carol’s chili, historically.”
I shrug. “I like it hot.”
“Noted.” TJ winks, and if only the floor would swallow me whole, because seriously? I walked right into that one, like the talking-to-hot-men-newbie I am.
I bury my face in my hands. “The chili,” I mumble. “I meant the chili.”
He just laughs.
“I’m such a dweeb,” I say between my fingers. I’m not flirty or fun. I’m a walking, talking, personified foot-in-mouth. “When I tell you I’m out of practice with people, you see what I mean now?” Why do I have to give oxygen to the first thought that pops into my brain?
“Quit it.” He reaches over and pulls my hands away from my face. “I like looking at you.”
Chapter 18
TJ
Lucy sucks in a breath, and I retract my hand, severing the skin-to-skin contact. She’s not the only one who’s out of practice when it comes to being friendly. Then again, I’m not so much out of practice as I am out of my depth with this woman.
She’s wearing a white, flowy top over wide-legged jeans and emerald-green sneakers. Her hair is hanging down, and it’s either got a natural wave to it or she’s curled it. She looks effortless, casual, but still somehow put together, and I am in awe of the whole package.
I’ve spent lots of time with women—stunning, gorgeous, fun women—shamelessly flirting my way through first and second dates like it’s my job. It’s easy and nice. I don’t have to think too hard.
This thing with Lucy … it’s different.
In my defense, it’s been a long time since I looked at a woman and was so arrested by her. By the softness of her voice and the sweetness of her laugh. By the curve of her neck. By the map of freckles charting a course across the bridge of her nose. And those are just her physical features. If it’s possible, I’m even more taken with Lucy’s presence. I may or may not have spent the first five minutes after I arrived lingering in the entryway, just watching her.
Not like a creeper, I promise.
Like a man enraptured.
She was talking to Gram’s friends, Susie and Titi. The two older women were gesticulating wildly as they recounted whateverstory they were telling. Lucy nodded along, giving them her full attention. She’s attentive and treats people like they’re deserving of her time. I admire that about her. I watched as Susie and Titi drew her into the conversation, and she chatted with them like they’d known each other for years. Lucy had them laughing and leaning in, like they couldn’t get enough of her.
Honestly, same.
Now, she’s got me tripping over my words and off my usual game.
Flirting is my default, and Iwantto flirt with Lucy. I want to make her blush and let her know that she affects me. But we’re friends. Just friends.
My brain knows that. My mouth hasn’t gotten the memo yet.
“Rule number one when conversing with friends,” I say quickly, trying to salvage the moment. “It’s best to look each other in the eye so you can read facial cues and so that things don’t get lost in the translation of thumbs-up emojis.”
Lucy presses her lips together and nods sagely. “Excellent advice. Anything else I should know?”
There’s so much I want to tell you.
I stop myself from saying that aloud. It’s terrifying to feel like Iwanther to know things about me. I haven’t had a thought like that since Tess died.
“I guess I should tell you that I don’t like it hot,” I say. She arches her brows. “At least, when it comes to chili. Carol’s recipe has made me cry three years in a row.”
