Not because I don’t think I could. Because I do. That’s exactly why I won’t. I’m not going to get myself entangled with a woman who becomes my true north, only to have the map of my life flipped on its head.
That’s happened already, and I’ll guard my heart from it happening again until the day I die.
Chapter 17
Lucy
I’ve been at Loretta and Martin’s for less than an hour, and I feel like I know these people already. In a good way.
When I showed up in the gathering room in the main building of their senior living community, Loretta was so excited to see me that she wrapped me and my slow cooker in another one of her pillowy hugs.
“You came!” she cheered. “I’m so glad you did. Let me introduce you to everyone.”
I didn’t even have time to get panicky about who “everyone” was and what they might think of me or if they’d seen the footage of me calling them “stupid” … at least by proxy. Three other ladies swarmed us, all similar in age to Loretta, and started talking all at once. No one seemed to recognize me, and if they did, they didn’t call attention to my very public faux pax.
“We need some young blood around here,” a woman named Carol said. “I try to stay up with the times. Tell me, Dolly, what exactly istherizz?”
“Isn’t that the fancy hotel in New York?” a woman named Titi spoke up.
“That’s TheRitz,” Carol corrected with a huff.
“The Ritz is my favorite kind of cracker,” Susie added. “I get myself a plateful and add some pepperoni and some artisan cheese andvoilà, girl dinner!”
It was all I had in me not to cover my mouth to bury a laugh. “Rizz is like charisma,” I told them. “You ladies have it in spades.”
Loretta’s pale blue eyes twinkled, and they reminded me so much of TJ’s that I had to stop myself from blurting out something stupid like,You know who else has rizz in spades? Loretta’s grandson, who I can’t stop thinking about and who, it turns out, I’m basing an entire book character off, without his knowledge or consent.
These thoughts tumbled around in my brain, but Loretta hooked her arm through mine. “You’re going to fit right in here, I can tell. Come on, let’s make the rounds.”
The chaos has only ratcheted up from there. Good chaos. I’ve received several compliments on Dad’s chili recipe, and while I knew it would be hard, it’s actually been really nice to remember him—to talk about him when people ask where my recipe originates. I love Ruby and Kait and Hilary—I totally lucked out where our blended family is concerned—but my stepmom and stepsisters live big and loud lives, and it sometimes feels like they’re going at a hundred miles per hour with the show and the social media and the brand deals, and Dad’s memory seems to get buried. This has been a good reminder that it’s okay to talk about him. That it won’t kill me, and that it actually might make me feel better.
I pull out my phone and snap a picture of Loretta, who has her head tipped together with Titi, Susan, and Carol as the square dance instructor begins her spiel. I send a message to Cassie, Philly, and Bex.
Lucy
Can this be us someday, pretty please?
Their responses are immediate.
Philly
YES PLEASE!
Cassie
Dibs on being the one with the good cowboy boots.
I smile at the older ladies. Carol is the one rocking the bright red boots, and it seems very appropriate that Cassie would notice. Her attention to detail and eye for the latest trends is impeccable. It’s what makes her a killer literary agent.
Bex
Where is this!?
Lucy
Bayview Senior Living’s chili cook-off and square dance, obviously.
Bex
