I closed the door gently to push it into the frame without much noise. My heart was in my throat, the anxiety a slow squeeze around my chest. I focused on the front door at the end of the hallway, just past the stairs. There were no shoes, not even a new coat on the rack. The moths high on the wall were never disturbed.
I treaded carefully over to the parlor room, taking a deep breath that did little to steady my frantic heart.
My father sat in the corner chair with his signature morose posture.
Despite sitting in the home of his daughter, he always held himself like he was wasting money the longer he was present.
Time is not money, time is worth much more,he would always say. I could practically hear him. His visual was helping with the immersion.
His head cocked to the side, his eyes focused on packing his pipe, not wasting a glance. He sat in his old chair; it remained unused unless he visited.
“You let yourself in,” I said.
“It is my house, after all.”
“What is the point of giving me the house if you invite yourself in whenever it pleases you?”
“Careful”—his eyes snapped to me—“you have very low leverage in this situation.”
I bit the inside of my cheek.
“I was kind to you. I could have used you for a more advantageous marriage.” He leaned back in the chair, lighting his pipe.
“But you didn’t.”
“Because I would need those investors relatively unharmed, for now.” He paused, puffing and watching the embers pulse to life with each breath. “I thought you would be more grateful, is all.”
“Iamgrateful.”
“Have you consummated?” He watched for my reaction carefully.
“Is that not my private business?” I managed a small smile through a clenched jaw.
His laugh was melodic, a lighthearted amusement if it weren’t for the topics at hand. “No, my dear, what you do with your body has never been your business.” He gathered himself again to take another inhale.
I only noticed I was making fists when my nails began to leave impressions in my palms, stinging as the blood attempted to recirculate.
“I take it that you’ve scared him off already?” He sighed, standing from his seat and neatly buttoning his jacket.
“We are getting to know one another.” My voice shook. “Have you considered he may like me for my mind rather than my flesh?” I didn’t know if Arkady could possibly see that in me, but my fatherdidn’t know that. The only leverage I had was that we hadn’t shared a home in some time.
His head tilted to the side with a smile as if I’d said something foolish. “My dear girl, men are practically born craving the fruit of the flesh.”
“I am taking my time.”
“How funny, it didn’t take much time at all with your past patrons. And your sisters fared well.” He moved to pass but paused when he came up next to me. “I thought your experience would have made this go faster, but I am choosing to trust your process while you gather your footing.”
There was such venom in his words that an outsider would hardly believe they came from my father. He was collected that way, his perception a mere curation of what he wanted others to see.
Another ring of the doorbell.
“I’ll see myself out, it was good to catch up.” A pleasant smile graced his features before he squeezed my shoulder.
As I opened the door to let him out, I was nose to nose with my second guest of the day.
“Oh—I didn’t realize you had company. I can come back later.” Lorelei startled at the sight of my father.
A disingenuous smirk peeled across his lips. “I was on my way out.”
