I truly do.
I feel my own tears come, slow and steady. To hide my face, I press myself back into his chest, and he meets me immediately, wrapping himself around me like a shield.
And we dance some more.
To the sound of nothing but each other’s withering restraint.
Accepting thatthisis the best thing that could have happened to us. To get us out of our own personal dark spots. To give us purpose. To find each other.
Because even though we aren’ttogether, I can no longer imagine a version of my life without Bo in it. Bo is simply lovely. Plain and true and all-encompassing.
So why am I still so scared?
Angry with myself, I wiggle free from his hold. I laugh weakly as he pretends to fight me, holding tighter as he sways me side to side.
“No, don’t,” he says, his hand going from shoulder to elbow. “Another record?”
I pat his shoulder at least a dozen times as I shake my head, unsure of what else to do to keep the overwhelming feelings and truths and fears from spilling out. His eyes follow the movement of my head as I shake it one last time, and he sighs, releasing me.
I walk toward the bathroom to shower without looking back, my head hung low and emotions caught heavy in my throat.
Leaving Bo still standing there.
Halfway through my shower, music starts playing again, and I fall against the tile, letting the water wash over me as I imagine Bo’s body around me in here too.
And, I realise, I’mcompletelyfucked.
CHAPTER 25
“Ifuckingknew it!” Sarah says, whispering inches from my face, her finger wagging.
“Whatever happened to hello?” I ask, looking around the hallway she dragged me into the moment Bo and I stepped through her front door for DND night.
“You want hello? Fine. Hi! How are you? When did you two start sleeping together?” Sarah shakes my shoulders, her smile open and wide.
“What? We arenot,” I say, shrugging her off. “Step back, weirdo!” I whisper-yell.
She opens the door to Caleb’s office and shoves me through it. “Tell me everything.”
“Literally nothing has happened, Sarah,” I say, taking a few steps to get my balance after being pushed. “Would you calm down? Fucking hell.”
“There was alook. I saw it.” She points to her eyes in a fury.
“What look?” I ask, falling across the two-seater couch across from Caleb’s desk in front of a dark oak–panelled wall.
“You two walked in, and Bo looked toward the table where we set everything up. Then he checked in with you. A tilt of his head and a sweet little smile, then you nodded. He was getting permission to walk over there. That’s the look of a man on someone’s leash. Pussy-whipped!”
“You didnotjust say pussy-whipped. Please, please, please tell me you didn’t,” I say, covering my face.
“So you do not deny,” Sarah says, dropping into Caleb’s chair and throwing her feet up onto the desk in the centre of the room.
“Idodeny. The most we’ve done since Halloween is hug.”Dancing is hugging, just extended, right?It doesn’t count.
Sarah’s eyes narrow on me in suspicion. “You do give great hugs,” she whispers. “But notthatgood.”
“Bo’s thoughtful. He was just making sure I was cool before he ditched me to see his friends. Simple as that.”
“So you’re telling me that I haven’t seen you in forty years”—it’s been twelve days—“because you’ve been held up in your house with himnotboinking?”
