“It is,” I say, sliding down the wall to sit.
“How are you feeling?”
“Better now,” I answer, throwing a stick of gum into my mouth.
“I meant about moving in with Bo.”
“Oh…” Right,that.
“Still worried?” she asks.
“Yeah,” I sigh out. “Hard not to be.”
“At least you’ll be closer to our place. I looked it up. It’s only an eighteen-minute walk.”
I nod absentmindedly, chewing like I have a vendetta against my gum.
“You can move in with us any time if you need to. But I do think this is a good thing. Maybe it’ll be awkward for a bit, but it’ll be easy to get to know each other. And once the baby arrives, you’re going to need another set of hands.”
I wince.
“Sorry… you know what I mean.”
I nod, offering her a relaxed smile.
When it became obvious, five weeks ago, that I couldn’t remain at this apartment any longer, I considered taking Sarah up on her offer to move in. But ultimately, I decided I couldn’t. Sarah and Caleb have very consciously chosen not to have kids. I never would have shaken the feeling that I was ruining their child-free existence. I’d have felt so guilty.
“I could do it on my own,” I argue, my pride beckoning to be consoled.
Sarah flicks my nose. “Of course youcould.But the point is you don’t have to. Our moms had each other, right? Just think of Bo as theMarcie to your June.”
“It’s more complicated than that.”
“Because you slept withyourMarcie? Because you want to again?” Sarah asks, her voice suggestive.
Yes, but not only that.“It’s just the hormones.”
“The ones you had on Halloween or the baby-growing ones?”
“Both.”
“Give yourself more credit than that.” Sarah leans against me, shoulder to shoulder. “But I get why you don’t want to complicate things more now.”
“It’s not just that I slept with him. It’s also the Jack-effect. I’ve only ever lived with one guy before.”
“That won’t happen again, Win. I promise,” Sarah says sternly, taking another sip of water.
“I know it sounds ridiculous because Bo has been nothing but kind and supportive and I’m literally moving in with the guy as if I don’t have a care in the world, but I can’t help but feel like themomentI let myself settle in, he’ll turn on me like Jack did.”
“Want to play worst-case scenario?” Sarah asks.
It’s what Marcie would offer to play with us when we were worried about shit growing up. Which, in hindsight, was mostly stuff not worth worrying over. I nod, taking a deep breath.
“So you move in with Bo, and things go well.Untilone night, he snaps. Changes like Jekyll and Hyde. Like Jack.” She says his name with totaldisdain. “What would you do?”
“Leave. Immediately. Walk or taxi over to your house.”
“Then what?”
