With a few buttons pressed and knobs twisted, a quiet sound begins. Turned louder, the baby’s heartbeat fills the room, reverberating against the walls in a perfect rhythm. The most life-altering, exquisite sound.
It’s all I can hear. Above my panted breaths. Above Bo’s seemingly subconscious happy murmurs of amazement. Aboveeverything.The city outside, the voice of anxiety in my head, the subtle creaking of my ribs tightening under the weight of all this change.
Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum.Like a steady train.
Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum.Not a mistake.
Ba-dum, ba-dum, ba-dum.Ahappyaccident.
“Wow,” I breathe out, tears blotting along my lower lashes.
“Heart rate is one-sixty-seven,” the tech says, typing.
“Is that good?” Bo asks softly, as if to not disturb the moment.
“Yes, that’s right where we want it.”
He huffs a sigh of relief. Then his warm lips are pressed on the back of my hand. I turn away from the screen toward him, hit with a rush of surprise at that form of contact. Which may be absurd, considering all we’ve done.
“Thank you for letting me be here,” he says. Or maybe he mouths it, I’m not sure. All I can hear is that steady beating heart.
“Can you record this?” I ask hoarsely, emotion tightening my throat.
Bo lets go of my hand to pull out his phone, then, after a moment, holds it up slightly, the voice recorder on his phone blinking red.
A few moments later, the nurse turns the volume down slowly and shuts off her machines. “We’ll print off some photos for you. You can expect to hear from your doctor within the next few days—” The tech stops herself. “Well, actually, given that it’s only two days before Christmas, you most likely won’t. But,” she leans close to whisper, “I can tell you there’s absolutely nothing to worry about. Just between us.” She winks.
“Thank you,” I say.
“I’ll give you two a minute,” she says, handing me a warm towel. “For the gunk.” She points to my stomach as she walks around the bed and leaves.
“That was amazing,” Bo says as I wipe off my stomach. “They’re a lot less human-looking than I was expecting, though.”
“Like a little jelly bean,” I say, smiling fondly.
“And it was moving a lot,” he says in disbelief. “Like, it’s free to just move about in there. It’s wild.”
“They seem to be making themself at home, yes.” I sit up, lowering my shirt. “Wow…” I say again, becausewow.
“Yeah…” Bo says on a long breath, a crooked smile in full, bold agreement.
“A baby,” I say, flashing my eyes at him.
“A baby,” he repeats, shaking his head.
“Insane.”
Bo sighs, dragging a hand down his face. “Pretty fucking cool,” he says, then looks up at me. We share a small, giddy smile before I hop off the table and we make our way out toward the receptionist’s desk.
After the tech hands us an envelope with two identical ultrasound photos, we walk downstairs to the lobby in companionable silence. Arriving at the main floor, I notice the snow is coming down harder, illuminated only by the streetlamps outside.
“Yikes,” I say, looking out toward the no-doubt blistering cold, winding my scarf around my neck.
“Can I give you a ride?” Bo asks, buttoning up his coat. But then he stops and watches me intently for a moment. “Actually, I’m going to insist. I’m giving you a ride.”
I roll my eyes with affection. “Yes, that would be nice. Thank you.” Then I remember Sarah’s suggestion. “Actually… do you have plans tonight?”
He finishes doing up his coat, shoving both hands into his pockets. “No.” He raises a brow, lifting the corner of his mouth alongside it. “What were you thinking?”
