She kisses the top of my head and I decide that Imighthave to force her to come along after all. I hate the idea of not being around her for a minute, especially during my favourite time of year.
Chapter Sixteen
Evan
December 9th
The last seven days have flown by. A bit like a dream but more like a blur. We spent most of the weekend after the gallery opening in bed. On Monday, I took the kids on a field trip to a Christmas Tree farm. There was one tiny, perfectly symmetrical, adorable tree by the exit that reminded me so much of Clara I had to have it.
It’s now in my classroom, decorated to the max. And while I’m fairly certain it’s against school policy to have arealtree, I couldn’t help myself when my students begged for it to stay.
Clara went back to her place on Monday after work to convince her roommates that she wasn’t kidnapped. I went over there for dinner the next day after she told them about the evolution of our agreement. They grilled me a fair amount but I understood why. I’m protective of Clara too. Altogether, it was a really nice evening.
Jen, Clara’s roommate who seems to have some suppressed anger but yet dresses like she teaches yoga, made homemade Shepherd’s Pie. Which, while delicious, is a bit of a sensory meltdown waiting to happen. Mushy potatoes stacked on top of soft, wet meat with vegetables in varying textures? Yikes. I still manage to eat it, distracted by pleasant conversation.
Leah, Clara’s other roommate, brought out the board gameCatanafter dinner. We quickly formed an alliance to not trade with the others. She won, but it almost felt like I did because we were neck and neck throughout and trounced the others. I had a lot of fun but I was most excited to have Clara back at my place afterward, all to myself. I’d missed her after just one night apart. I’d slept like shit without her next to me.
I get to have her with me for at least a few more days because tomorrow is the party at Natalie's. It’s also my self-appointed deadline to give Clara an answer about going home for Christmas. I didn’t want her to have to wait this long.
I know on a fundamental level that Daryl and Maggie are not like my parents. They took me in when mine kicked me out, as a prime example. But there's so many areas that intersect between their life and my family. The same small town. The same gossipy church. The same cycle of holiday traditions that most folks back home run through each year.
Pick up your tree from Ralph’s farm then sleigh rides and eggnog afterwards. On December 23rd, Main Street holds their window display contest. Then, the Christmas Eve service at the church with hymns by candlelight. Followed by ice skating behind the High School on Christmas day.
I’ve told myself for ten years that I wouldn’t go back. That I wouldn’t get to do those things again. I’d successfully convinced myself I didn’twantto do them. So now, it’s really fucking difficult to convince myself otherwise. Even if it feels that Clara is theonlyreason to do anything.
She’s totally not worried about that phone call to her parents. Not at all. I’m terrified that she’s going to have a hard and fast lesson in the difference between your parents finding out your friend is gay and telling your parentsyouare gay.
Please let Daryl and Maggie stay cool.
I, of course, reserve my right to bail on the whole thing if they don’t take the news kindly. Clara argued that it wouldn’t be bailing in that case—because she wouldn’t be going either. Still, it’s good to have a proverbial parachute.
Today's been the perfect day to stew on my answer. I’ve asked my students to pair up, interview a teacher or staff member of their choice, and then create a presentation about them. So far we’ve had three presentations about the office manager, Gladys, who is a fan favourite due to her candy stash. Another about the gym teacher, Mike, and one about the vice-principal that read more like a hit piece.
So, after hours of careful consideration, I’m leaning towards saying yes.
Everytime I imagine Bagel and I sitting at home on Christmas day by ourselves, unwrapping a can of Tuna and a pair of socks, I get sad. Not just because of the sorry excuse for gifts but because Clara should be with us too.Weshould be with Clara. I’m pretty much uninterested in any day that doesn’t involve her from now on but especially the important ones.
And though I’ll see her tonight, I pull out my phone under my desk and sneak her a text.
EVAN: Tell Daryl and Maggie you’ll be bringing two guests home for Christmas.
Her response is almost immediate.
CLARA: Really?!
EVAN: Yes. I’d be an idiot to spend the holidays away from you.
CLARA: I’m so happy! Thank you! <3
I type and delete,I love youseveral times. “I’m glad,” is what I land on instead. “Me too,” I send before locking my phone away.
Chapter Seventeen
Clara
December 10th
Evan’s fidgeting in the back of this taxi like she’s about to shed her skin. I told her we absolutely didn’t have to go tonight. Her colleagues would understand that she might not be comfortable attending a work party at her ex’s house. Those two things separate? Awful. Combined? Positively dreadful.
