“If youaredone for the night, we could go to mine? I’m not far and I have a couch and actual chairs.” Evan’s brows furrow looking at the sitting area.
“Uh, sure. Okay.”
“Unless you want to stick around to…” She winks as if she’s never once done it before, and I can’t help but laugh at her expense. I’ve always found her dorkiness absolutely adorable but now I think maybe I find it sexy too? It could be the outfit.How did I not notice before? Is it too late to compliment her now? She’s dressed like a sexy librarian meets American Girl Doll.
“No, I thought more people would be around tonight. It’s fine, Laurence is a big gossip—word will get around. Um…” I remove my hand from hers and point to the door. “I’ll just get my things.”
“Clara?” She tugs on the back of my blazer as I turn away.
“Hmm?” I answer, spinning back around.
Suddenly, she’s closer. Her arm wrapped around the small of my back, a hip pressed to mine. Her breath against my jaw, ear pressed to my cheek, lemongrass scented shampoo flooding my senses.
"Laurence is watching us from up there,” Evan whispers. "Wrap your hand around me."
“Oh.” I can feel the pricking of my skin across my neck, the tingling sensation that follows, my hair now standing on end as I place one hand onto the hollow of her waist.
The sound of my heartbeat is so loud I can feel it pulsing against my eardrum, drowning out all other noise.
Ever so slowly, Evan spreads her fingers on the small of my back wider and moves her hand upwards. I feel muscles twitch and go rigid around my entire body as she presses on, a path towards my neck which is unconsciously stretching to meet her.
My throat tightens just as she reaches my shoulder, then even more when her thumb rubs across the skin under my hairline. I take two inhales in a row, struggling to focus. I force out a breathy exhale that makes Evan turn to see if I’m okay. I nod, silently, lips parting.
“Clara, I…” she says my name like she never has. Angry, almost. Forced out and agitated. I look up at her through heavy lashes and her eyes are locked on my lips. A heavy expression on her face, similar to regret.
“Do you want to kiss me?” I ask.
I don’t know what comes over me but the second I watch Evan's frustration wash away into surprise—I lean in and kiss her before she’s even answered. As if it was the only thing either of us could imagine doing next.
She breathes out, long and warm against my top lip, and inhales even sharper when I change the angle of our mouths slightly, pressing more fervently against her.
My top lip fits so perfectly between hers, it’s damn near relaxing. Like finding the perfect position in bed to fall asleep in and feeling yourself slowly drift away.
Because I imagineit from Laurence’s vantage point, it’s almost as if I'm having an out-of-body experience, seeing it from a bird’s-eye view.
Her merlot lips, plush and swollen, wrapped around my own. Her hand, now
brushing my hair on the back of my head. So comforting that I unconsciously decided to do the same with hers where it falls down the side of her face. Evan's hair tickles my palm and entangles around my fingers like vines around a tree stump and I tug a little. Because I’ve lost the ability to care, apparently, and everything in me is asking formore.
Just as I think it’s time to pull away, some rationality coming back into the foggy atmosphere around us, Evan releases the smallest noise from the back of her throat. A mewling hum that acts as a magnet for my other hand. I drop the bag of food on the floor, desperate to touch the other side of her face too and hold her closer.
But, Evan pulls away, jumping back to look at the take-out at our feet and wincing. She steps back even further, wiping her smeared lipstick with her thumb, her wild eyes scanning me for reassurance.
I can’t close my mouth, horrified by whatever force just took over me and had me sucking my best friend’s lip between my own. I want to smile at her, set her at ease. Mostly, I want to find some humour to deject with but I can't seem to find a single funny thing about what just occurred between us.
This was all supposed to be pretend.
But has any first kiss ever felt likethat? Any kiss?
Not for me.
Chapter Ten
Evan
What in the flying fuck was that?
That was ourfirstkiss? Our practice round? Our throw away? Our… fuck! I can’t think of any more words. What is happening? Clara must have felt that too, right?
