“Luke was angry; you saw that. He felt like it was unfair since, you know, I had been so focused on keeping us all separated.” His expression turns focused. “I told him that you made it impossible to stay away. That everything about you is pulling me in.” He shakes his head, a smile of disbelief spreading across his lips. “I may have referred to you as a whirlpool… as cheesy as that may be.”
I bite my lip to hide my amusement, but Warren’s expression turns more determined.
“I could resist, try to swim out, try to avoid it—but it would be easier to float. And, for the first time, I’m not scared to.” Warren’s blue eyes look up, swirling with mixed emotion. Hopeful yet weary. “I’ve had a lot of people come and go in my life—most of those I was supposed to trust failed me.” His eyes close and hold a moment before he opens them. “I’d be an idiot to let myself get hurt. So I make judgements. I put people into boxes. I let my anger get the best of me and push them away. But you keep showing up. You seem to understand.”
Did I just get my first declaration speech?It was perfect.How do I follow that?
“I, uh, shit, that was a lot more than I meant to say.” He rubs a palm over his head. “Please say something.” He forces out a strained laugh.
“Wow. Um… wow.” I bite my cheek. “I think, uh.”Say this right, don’t ruin it.“I really like you, Warren. I do. Probably a lot more than I’d care to admit.” I smile, but his face remains neutral, like he’s waiting on my every word.
“I just wonder if for now, with everything hanging in the balance, we try being friends. I know you said you didn’t want to be my friend, and let me tell you, that was quite a swoon-worthy line…oddly enough. But, I can’t gamble Willow.”
Warren nods a few times, an expression of regret passing over his face as I take a moment to slow my thoughts.
“I’m not saying no to… us. I really want to say yes. But I think we need to wait until we both feel secure that anything more between us would be a safe bet.” As the time since Warren last spoke grows, so do my insecurities. I try to push them back down, but they absorb me further with every attempt.
“And what you said earlier? About who I am?” I hesitate. “About us not fitting, not working…” My voice trails off.
Warren looks up at me from under his brow. “I don’t know why I said those things, Chloe. I’m sorry.” A muscle in Warren’s neck ticks. “It was stupid. I say stupid things when I’m mad or… jealous.” He lets out a long breath. “When I woke up this morning, I was so sure we’d slip into this new way of living together. Where we were awe.”
“I don’t disagree. I’m not an easy person. I’m uptight, and I overthink everything. I present this version of myself to the world where I can be condensed. Minimised.” I laugh without any joy. “You fell for it too. Just some privileged, colourful, well-to-do girl who doesn’t have to try too hard. I tone myself down. I… I tame myself.”
I swallow thickly. “My roommates, from university, didn’t even know I was adopted. How messed up is that? I never once had to share that part of myself with people, because I could avoid the shit my birth mom put me through. I could run away from it.” I stop fidgeting and settle in my seat, clasping my hands in my lap. “You didn’t have that chance.”
“No… I didn’t.” Warren pauses, rubbing his chin, “But we still landed in the same place. Not through any choices we made. That sucks, equally, for both of us.” He reaches out toward me with an open palm and I give him my hand. “You never have to do that with me. Show me the messy parts, okay? God knows, I’ve shown you mine.” He winces.
I look down at our hands, intertwined and resting between us.Have I ever fit anywhere quite so easily?
“We can be friends… for now,” Warren says as he pulls his hand away. My foolish heart wants it back.
“But you let me know when you’re ready for the real thing.” He leans in, close enough for me to feel his breath against my cheek. “I’m patient when I need to be, dove.”
“Yeah…Okay.” I stutter, my throat tightening as I try to fight the urge to brush my lips over his jaw.
Warren leans back against the couch and crosses a leg over his knee, ending the moment. I let my shoulders fall with a sigh.
Good things come to those who wait… right?
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Another morning breakfast around the table, another bowl of cereal, another day in this comfortable routine we’ve crafted together in this last month. It’s usually me who interrupts the boys’ morning quiet, but they don’t seem to mind too much.
“Who are you going to be for Halloween?”I ask Luke.
“I’m fifteen.”He emphasises his age with wide eyes as he signs.
“Almost sixteen,”Warren adds from the end of the table, chewing.
“You’re never too old to dress up.”I shoot Warren daggers.
“Let me guess, you’re going to be in costume?”Warren tilts his head at me.
“Yes! It’s fun. This building has tons of kids. Last year, I had to run out for more candy.”
“What did you dress as?”Luke asks.
“Poison Ivy.”I hope I signed that right.
