I don’t know what he does for work, just that he seems to work three days a week at home and two at the office. Also, I know that he’s well over six feet tall, with dark curls, deep-brown eyes, and smooth olive skin. His work-from-home attire is worn jeans, soft cashmere sweaters or well-loved plain black T-shirts, and sneakers. His office days find him in pressed trousers and a button-down shirt that’s either white or soft blue. The one time I saw him smile—he was checking the mail with one of his friends in tow—I caught a flash of two of the deepest dimples I’d ever seen and probably should have taken a pregnancy test a few days later.
Catalogs and I both watch him pull his mail from the box and obliviously make his way back up the stairs. I honestly don’t care that Loud Kevin has just caught us ogling, or thatthere isn’t a check in my mailbox today. Catching a glimpse of Friday has made me forget about all of it.
January 14, 2026
Codeify Slack channel
Jude T: Did you happen to catch the username of that woman who zoom bombed the presentation earlier?
Adam P: I only saw the initials VC
I’m going to be honest. That was brutal, but brilliant.
I went through the Zoom recording and wrote down what she said.
Oh please share
“Is this a serious marketing group? What am I looking at? Slide one was a mission statement that says absolutely nothing. ‘Empowering synergies through innovation’? That’s four buzzwords in a trench coat pretending to be a thought. And what was that on slide two? A stock photo of people high-fiving in a WeWork? No data, no strategy, just vibes and Helvetica. Slide three: a pie chart with no labels. What is that even measuring? Your rapidly declining odds of making a profit?
This whole deck is fluff stapled to hope. Where’s the competitive analysis? Where’s the budget breakdown?You’re pitching a million-dollar campaign with less substance than an influencer’s skin care routine. Whoever made this either hates marketing or has never sold a damn thing in their life.”
All of that just off the cuff.
I need to find out who she is.
Jude Tilde, CEO, out for revenge?
Jude Tilde, CEO, out for a lifeline. Now that I’ve taken over, we need people who aren’t afraid to speak up. We have the opportunity to reinvent ourselves.
The Mystery Woman would have a field day with that phrasing.
You’re not wrong.
January 19, 2026
iMessage
Veronica C.
You are not going to believe what I’m about to tell you
Clara C.
Hold that thought. Piper just had a diaper blowout, and Daniella is having a tantrum.
I’ll type while you deal with that
So, you remember that random zoom meeting I entered last week?
Yes, you do, I know you do, so I’ll keep typing
Well, I had another interview today, a good one, I think?
At least I hope it was good on their end, too, because I still have not received my check from PitchSlapped
Anyway, when I got off the call, I checked my email to find
I shit you not
