I thought about what I had felt fighting ghouls.
“You don’t need to,” I said. “You hate the White Court that much?”
“I’ve had three wives, over the centuries,” Ebenezar said. “Three dozen apprentices. A hundred friends.” He winced, and his voice creaked. “But just the one child.”
I thought of Maggie. I thought of what I would do to protect her. What Ihaddone.
I thought of what I would have become if I’d failed.
“She was an adult,” I said. “Making her own choices.”
“Maybe,” he said. “Maybe she wasn’t in charge of all of her choices by the time Raith got to her. It’s not like there’s a test to run.”
I thought about what it would feel like, not to know. Never to know. Never to know if he’d failed her, if she’d needed his help, or if he’d been betraying her, ignoring her, disbelieving her.
That would have been one hell of a heavy burden.
“So,” I asked him, “if you hated Raith so much, why is he still alive?”
“Because I found out what she did to him before the end,” he said listlessly. “Because I wanted him to die slow. Humiliated. Because I wantedhim to suffer. Because he had favors he used to buy off the Council’s wrath.”
I grunted.
“Why not ask him?” I said.
The old man stopped in his tracks.
“What?”
“Lara doesn’t exactly feel overwhelming loyalty to her paterfamilias,” I said. “Maybe we get him in a room and ask him. A room with good drains.”
He closed his eyes. “I…I never spoke to him. I knew that if I stood in front of him, one stray thought and…” He flexed his hands into fists and relaxed them again slowly.
I thought about Rudolph.
I thought about him standing in front of me. About what I might do. Had already tried to do.
I clenched my hands into slow fists, too.
“Hoss,” Ebenezar said. “All this is…Look. I’m sorry. I was trying to stop you from making a mistake and you told me he sired achildon her and I…things broke loose.” He turned to face me. “I lost control. And if you hadn’t been one hell of a wizard, I’d have gotten you killed because of it. I’m sorry. It will never happen again.”
I faced him squarely and said, “It might.”
He tilted his head.
“Thomas is my brother,” I said. “My friend. I know you hate the idea of him. But if you raise your hand against him, I swear to God Almighty and by my own power that I will break it off at the wrist. Sir.”
He studied my face carefully and then nodded. “I hear you.” His jaw clenched a few times and he said, “I got out of line at Etri’s place, too. I worry. For Maggie. You lose a child, it…it does bad things to you. Maybe my judgment is compromised in that arena.”
I was quiet for a long moment.
That had cost him something to say.
I put my hand on his arm and said, “Hell. Maybe you’re right, sir. Sometimes I feel like I’m just staying six inches ahead of an avalanche. Guess time will tell.”
“Always does,” he agreed. His voice was tight. “It always does, Hoss.”
“But she’s my girl,” I said quietly. “And I’ll make the calls. Not you. Not anyone else, either.”
