“Not much fun, is it?”
“No.”
He walked over to me, and then past me, and leaned on one of the crenels and looked out over the city. “Town’s all weird now. I went walking.”
“Yeah,” I said. “After you got, uh, hospitalized, a lot happened.”
“Lara’s been filling me in,” he said, tone still neutral.
He looked a lot better. Like, all the way better. He seemed to have added on his usual effortless muscle tone, and his face was all planes and jawline and perfect cheekbones. His eyes were a deep blue. His hair looked like a magazine cover again. Had any women walked by, they’d have given him extra looks.
But his eyes were just desolate.
“You’ve been feeding,” I said quietly.
He nodded. “Lara’s herd has been neglected, apparently. She’s been helping me…manage my Hunger. But it will take time.”
A year ago, that comment probably would have disturbed me. Now I just thought it was probably necessary to keep anyone from dying.
I didn’t know if that meant I’d been corrupted on some level or if I’d just learned things. I wondered where the difference between those things lay. If there was a difference. There probably was. Maybe I’d need to be a lot smarter to know exactly where it was. Which meant I should probably be very, very careful.
In this case, it helped me understand my brother and his pain and troubles better.
I’d take it.
“How you handling the change in diet?”
He smiled bleakly. “You’ve been learning, huh?”
“Yeah. Looks like.”
Thomas shook his head. “It’s weird. Lara likes classical musicians. I keep finding myself listening to new music. Having a lot of confusing dreams. I don’t sleep peacefully anymore. When I sleep.”
“Yeah. I know how that one goes, too.”
Thomas stiffened and said, “I’m not here for your sympathy.”
I was quiet for a moment. Then I said, “Right. Sorry.”
“I’m not here for your apologies, either,” Thomas said. “When will Justine be back?”
“I don’t know,” I said.
He turned to me, his face a remote mask. “Not good enough. Not even close.”
I spread my hands. “Look. I can guess. But I can’t even promise it will be close.”
“And you’ve already done so much,” Thomas said, his voice bitter.
I took a deep breath.
I recognized that voice, too. Thomas was hurting. Hurting in ways I didn’t know about in addition to some that I did. He’d always had what were probably unconscious issues of self-loathing, about being a vampire, about the lives he’d taken. He was in enough pain that I could cut him some slack. Pretty much whatever slack he needed. He’d probably feel differently over time, as he healed.
“Okay,” I said calmly. “Well. When Mab had the Leanansidhe under, uh, treatment, she was missing for a good long while. At the very least a year or two. But it could be longer or shorter than that, based onhow fast time was running in Arctis Tor compared to the mortal world. But Lea is also a supernatural being and extremely strong-willed and tough-minded. Disciplined. Trained in sorcery, psychic battle, all kinds of stuff I probably don’t even know about. She had mental defenses that had to be broken down over a really long time to kick Nemesis out of her.”
Thomas stared at me. “With Justine,” he said, “it might not take as long. Is that what you mean?”
“Maybe not,” I said, shrugging. “Maybe it will. I don’t know. I’ve tried calling Mab but she isn’t answering. I assume she’s busy. I don’t want to bump her elbow while she’s doing psychic surgery.”
