A blue light that was a whole lot blurrier than when Harry had called it appeared. “Uh, what? Oh, hey, it’s, uh... what’s his name. That little guy that kept getting bigger. What’s up, kid?”
“We are under attack!” I cried.
The blue light flickered more brightly for a moment, but then the voice said, “I am sure that’s a bunch of hooey.”
“Hooey!” I said, shocked. I was a Major General and the captain of the Za-Lord’s Guard, after all. “You’re hooey!”
“Kid, the defenses on this place are almost as thick as the island’s. Nothing can get in here without me knowing it. Are you sure you’re not just overly excited? Did you guys get into the Froot Loops again?”
“That was but once only!” I protested. “My lord must be warned!”
“Your lord must not be interrupted,” Bob the Castle replied in a very smug and superior voice that I did not like even the smallest little bit. “He has important Wizard of Chicago stuff going on. Budget meetings.”
I did not know what manner of monster a budget was, or how it might best be dispatched in order to free my lord’s attention, butthe hairs on my neck rose and my thumbs prickled until I was almost beside myself—the enemy was nigh.
“The enemy is nigh!” I shouted. “Can you not hear the sound?”
Mister came hurtling across the floor and pounced ferociously upon the blue light.
“Gah!” it said. “I don’t have enough to do running this place, with sprites and cats trying to humiliate me every time I turn around!”
“Useless spirit!” I cursed him, drew my sword, and leapt into the air.
I drew the whistle I used to coordinate the movements of my lord’s Guard and started piping on it as hard as I could. It would be useless to alert any of the humans, since their ears were just too stupid to hear it, but any of my people would, and would come flying.
The Castle had been built for defense from the ground up. There were no staircases that stretched longer than a single floor. Invaders would have to take one staircase, fight their way the length of the Castle to the next, and so on. I shot down darkened corridors and up close-fit spiral staircases to the passage to the roof—and found it occupied by the enemy.
I had but an instant’s warning before a shower of darts slithered through the air I would have been flying in, if I hadn’t moved, and something greenish and covered in warty scales flew toward me. I banked and struck with all the power I could put behind my sword and felt the blade bite deep. There was a buzzy shriek, and the creature fell away from me.
“Taste steel, villain!” I howled, dodged more flung darts, and landed on the shoulder of a suit of armor, careful to avoid touching the Bane with my flesh, and took stock of the situation while crouched behind the helmet.
A carpet of creatures the size of sewer rats poured down the staircase from the roof. They were all of the same general caste but varied from one to the next—humanoids, covered in that leathery greenish skin, with flopping ears and oversized hands and feet. The features were exaggerated to various degrees of ridiculousness, but each one of them had the same sharp, vicious teeth, and the same sickly golden reptilian eyes. They wore armor, much as my Guard did, carried weapons and equipment—and I knew them, as they were an ancient foe of my folk.
“Gremlins most foul!” I shouted.
There was a thud as a larger form descended from the roof, this one nearly my size. He stood slowly, a gremlin larger and haler than the others, with but one eye and the other gone in a horrible mass of scars. Scar Eye gripped a human hatchet in both hands, and his cold gaze rose to meet mine.
“Pix,” he said, in a voice made of ground asphalt and living beehives. “We have no need to do battle with your ilk. Stand aside.”
“Foul gremlin, begone!” I shouted, pointing my sword at him. “You violate the rightfully won lands of my lord Dresden!”
The word rang with Power, and we were within his demesne. The gremlin flinched and snarled at the mention of my lord’s name, before staring back at me with slowly growing, gleeful spite. “Then wedoneed to do battle. Ilk.”
“You’rean ilk!” I shouted furiously.
Four very large gremlins plunged down the stairs carrying a bulky package between them. It had rectangles connected to a small jug of liquid connected to spiraling wires connected to a round circle that wenttick tick tick.
I felt my eyes open very wide.
That was a mortal device. I saw them on televisions and movies. Those were things that went boom.
Scar Eye looked from me to the boom device and back, his teeth showing even more in a slow, evil smile. “Kill the pix.”
Gremlins howled like rabid beasts suddenly freed from cages and a cloud of spears flew at me. I dove away from my position on the suit of armor, spears clattering against the Bane behind me. Scar Eye waited for me to move, then seized a spear from one of his lackeys and flung it hard and true at the spot I would have been in if I hadn’t been looking for the attack. Instead, I slapped the spear aside with my blade, spread my wings, caught myself just before hitting the floor, and darted down the hall with a small army of gremlins howling on my heels.
“Major General!” shouted a friendly voice.
I looked up to see Bluenose and Wobbleshanks in their dark, oil-slick-colored armor, spears in hand, wings a blur as they flew to my support and fell into formation on my flanks.
