Frequently Asked Questions
The Elsewhere Express
Passenger Handbook
Lily
“Good evening.” An angular woman walked up to the Elsewhere Express’s newest passenger dressed in a crisp, black uniform, her thick, wavy red hair threatening to burst free from her gold-banded felt cap. A cherry-tinted smile lit her hazel eyes.
“Welcome aboard the Elsewhere Express.” She extended a white-gloved hand. A delicate tattoo peeked out from her glove, spelling out a man’s name on her wrist in a cursive script that looked like red thread. “I’m Lily, the train’s conductor.”
Declaring that her name was Lily was both a lie and the truth. Lily was indeed the name of the woman whose likeness she wore like a coat, but it was not the name she was born with. That name did not matter, not as much as giving the Elsewhere Express’s newest arrival the best boarding experience possible. The conductor tugged her felt cap lower over her borrowed forehead, trying to contain Lily’s thick hair. The man who had daydreamed of Lily while riding the subway had done an excellent job of fleshing out his ex-lover. Every detail, from the inked name on her wrist to each rebellious strand of red hair, was exceptionally clear. Though the conductor wasn’t a fan of Lily’s fiery hair color, she did enjoy thesmell of her organic, coconut-scented shampoo. The fragrance was what ultimately swayed her to choose to look like Lily this evening instead of someone else.
Selecting a face to wear for the night shift never took the conductor long. Her options were limited to the daydreams of the passengers in the train car the Elsewhere Express’s newest arrival departed from. She browsed through the reveries like clothes on a vintage store’s rack, searching for ones that were clean, smelled nice, and didn’t have any holes. Faces of lovers were always a great find and the conductor did not hesitate to snap them up. They were sharp and very detailed, almost as vivid as the teary daydreams about loves that were lost.
At first, the conductor didn’t understand why it was necessary to don a fresh face each time she welcomed a passenger on board. As the years passed, it became clearer. With so few memories left of her life before boarding the train, slipping on the semblance of a person from the world outside the Elsewhere Express helped the conductor to remember that once, just like the rest of the crew, she had been a new passenger too. This allowed her to offer new arrivals empathy like a welcome drink, minus the alcohol, miniature paper umbrella, and fancy straw.
The passenger scrambled off an emerald-green velvet couch. “Where am I? What’s going on? What happened to the subway?”
“I understand how strange all of this must seem,” Lily said in the tone that grown-ups used when speaking to young children. “I’ll explain everything at the passenger orientation. I just need to see your train ticket first.”
The passenger backed away and tripped on a hand-knotted Persian rug. She fell to the marquetry floor, scattering the contents of her blue tote.
Lily rushed over and knelt by her side, avoiding two chocolate-and-peanut-butter candy bars and a binder bursting with handwritten notes. A canned orange-flavored energy drink rolled past her knee. “Are you all right?”
“Oh god.” Color drained from the passenger’s face. “I’m going crazy.”
“You’re not.” Lily picked up one of the passenger’s six blue pens from the floor and handed it back. “You’ve switched trains.”
The passenger dropped the pen. “I…I don’t remember getting off the subway.”
“Wonderful.” Lily’s smile grew brighter. “I’ll make sure to let the boarding team know.”
“The boarding team?” The passenger’s lips paled as though she was about to either faint or vomit.
“They’re the team responsible for making the boarding experience as smooth as possible. And what could be more seamless than not having any memory of how you got here?”
“This isn’t happening.” The passenger drew her legs to her chest and tucked her head to her knees. “Wake up. Wake up.”
“You’re awake. Look around you.” Lily admired the vintage train car’s interior. A backlit, curved, onyx ceiling cast a soft glow over the car, warming its cherrywood walls. Couches upholstered in lush velvet stood in place of the subway’s blue plastic seats. Ornate gilded frames of varying sizes leaned against the wall at the far end of the train car, waiting for painted worlds to fill them. “I think that you’ll find that the Elsewhere Express is quite the upgrade from the subway. And this is just the boarding car. Wait until you see the rest of the train.”
The passenger looked up, her eyes wild and flashing. “If this is real, prove it. Stop the train.” She shoveled her things back into her bag and got to her feet. “Let me off right now.”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.” Lily stood up and smoothed her blazer. “The Elsewhere Express doesn’t make any stops.”
“Then how could I have boarded it?” The passenger’s knuckles hardened around her bag’s straps.
“The Elsewhere Express doesn’t pick up passengers at stations.” Lily repeated a script that lived on her tongue. “You boarded it at the end of all your dreams at a quarter past your heaviest sigh. The train caught you when you floated away.”
“Floated away?” The passenger’s voice climbed in pitch. “Are you serious? If you won’t stop this train then I’m going to find someone who will.”
Lily straightened her cap. “Be my guest, but that might be a bit difficult without a door.”
The passenger’s eyes darted around the carriage’s doorless walls. “What the hell is going on?”
“Even before you got here, you’d drifted away from your own life. Everyone on this train had.” Lily flicked a piece of lint from her shoulder and watched it float away. “It might surprise you how little a person without purpose weighs.”
“Are the Elsewhere Express’s tickets refundable?”
