“Why not?”
“It’s not important.”
“Is it that time of the day again when I need to remind you how stubborn I am and that I won’t accept no for an answer?”
“There is no need to remind me. It is not something you have allowed me to forget.”
“Then go on.” Keishin folded his arms. “I’m listening.”
Hana tucked her knees into her chest. “I can’t stop thinking about what it would be like to finally see my mother. Everything I know about her is from what my father and grandmother have told me. I used to have this perfect version of her that lived in my head.”
“And now?”
“I find myself blaming her for everything that’s happened. To my father. To Haruto. To you. We’re trapped beneath the ground and surrounded by these…thingsbecause she was selfish and took something that didn’t belong to her.” Hana picked up a stone and rolled it around in her hand. “There. I said it. Is that enough evidence for you? Is that enough proof that I am not the person you think I am? You think that I am this dutiful daughter on this brave quest to save her parents, but all I can think about doing when I finally see my mother is push her away. If being hollow and cold makes the children here monsters, then I am a monster too.”
“If you’re looking for someone to judge you for what you feel about your mother, I’m afraid you’re hiding behind rocks with the wrong person,” Keishin said. “You just described exactly how I feel about my own mother. I’ve spent my entire life trying to find ways to make me feel worthy of her love, but thetruth is, all I want is to be able to look her in the eye and shove everything I’ve ever achieved without her in her face to prove to her that choosing another life over her son was a mistake. I’m a man pretending to care about discovering the origins of the universe when all I really care about is finding a way to hurt the woman who gave birth to me.”
“What a match we make,” Hana said. “Two monsters hiding behind rocks.”
“Feeling things for each other that, as you claim, aren’t real.”
“They aren’t.”
“At least tell me what these fake feelings you have for me are.”
“If they aren’t real, why does it matter?”
“I told you when we first met that I was a curious person. I want to know. I need to.” Keishin leaned in close enough to feel the heat radiating from her skin. “And maybe because something that feels real when you’re running for your life is close enough.”
Hana pulled Keishin to her lips. Keishin melted into her mouth, understanding that this was Hana’s answer. The heat between them burned through the time they had left, making Keishin keenly aware of their unique tragedy. The hours that strengthened bonds between lovers pulled them apart. Every passing moment dragged them back to worlds where the other could not follow. Including this kiss. There was no room for air between their lips, but Hana was already a thousand miles away.
Stay,Keishin screamed in his head.Stay with me.
“Hana?” a man’s voice called from behind the rocks.
Hana broke away from Keishin’s mouth.
“Hana?” the voice repeated with more urgency.
Hana attempted to stand.
Keishin grabbed her wrist. “Stay down,” he whispered. “It’s a trap.”
“No.” Hana pulled her hand away and stood up. “It’s my father.”
Keishin jumped to his feet. An older man with Hana’s cheekbones and the same quiet strength behind his eyes stared back at him. A girl no older than seven gripped the man’s hand with her talons. Unlike the other children, the dark wisps on her head were neatly combed into the smallest bun, more flowers and ribbon than hair.
“Otou-san…” Hana said.
Toshio gasped. “Hana.”
The girl tugged on Toshio’s hand and smiled up at him. “I told you, Otou-san.” She giggled. “I told you that our sister was hiding here.”
Chapter Fifty
A Good Daughter
Every detail was as Hana remembered. The pawnshop looked exactly the same. The only difference was that this pawnshop built in the middle of a sprawling rock garden was pristine. There was no trace of the chaos she had awoken to the day her father had vanished.
