Just like I knew she would.
57BIRDY
I knew coming back to Hope Falls might be challenging in all sorts of ways, but I could never have predicted how things have unfolded since I arrived. I’ve made a huge mistake coming here. I stare at the picture of Gabriella Woolf when she was a little girl. This picture was not on this wall the last time I was in this house.
I recognize her straight away.
The worst night of my life happened when I was a junior detective. I’d just been promoted and was having a few drinks with my colleagues to celebrate when I got the call. I was as obsessed with my work back then as I am now, but even hungrier for success. I wanted to be the youngest DCI in the country and I wanted to be the best. Most dreams come with expiration dates; if you don’t chase them soon enough they’ll be out of reach forever. I chased mine until I caught them. But everyone drops everything when a child goes missing. It’s just what you do. Doesn’t matter who you are, where you are, or what time it is, everything stops until they are found.
She was only eight years old.
Every police officer in the area was alerted to her disappearance, but I was the first one on the scene. It’s a common misconception that the initial forty-eight hours are the most critical when a childgoes missing, but that’s a lie. If it has taken that long to find them, chances are they are already dead. I drove faster than I should because time is the most important factor in finding a missing child alive. I knew I was over the limit, but not by much, and I felt sober enough to do what needed to be done. I couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to that child because I wasn’t there to do my job.
I remember getting the call that Gabriella was missing. I remember the rain, so heavy it seemed to be falling up as well as down. I remember how cold and dark it was that night, and thinking that no child should have been out alone. I remember how the siren sounded louder than normal, more urgent, the blue light on the top of my car casting an eerie glow on the shiny wet road ahead. It seemed to scream at the world to get the fuck out of my way.
I remember all of it.
My phone rang just as I turned into the street where Gabriella lived. I had to answer it because of who was calling. My eyes were off the road for a second, maybe two, no more than that. When I looked up I hit the brakes but I was too slow. And it was too late.
The bike was already under the car.
And Gabriella was there on the road in front of me.
She looked like a broken doll.
I guessed that the impact must have knocked her off the bike and tossed her into the air. I stared at the scene. I couldn’t move. It felt like I couldn’t breathe. Everything was silent and still except for the flashing blue light, as though time had actually stopped.
Gabriella was in a coma for months. I thought I’d killed her. I couldn’t even visit the hospital she was in or tell her how sorry I was. Her father looked at me with nothing but hatred in his eyes when I tried to visit the ward, so I stayed away.
I never forgave myself. I didn’t drive a car or drink alcohol ever again after that day. I became a recluse, transferred to a new police force, and focused on the job I was lucky to keep. I lost my family,and my friends, because I couldn’t stand the way they looked at me after what happened. It was the same way I looked at myself whenever I saw a mirror. Ten years ago I made the biggest mistake I’ll ever make and I’m still paying for it.
I recognize the photo of Gabriella in the hallway.
There is no such thing as coincidence.
Harrison knows who I am and what I did ten years ago.
Me being here now is no accident.
And I think I might be in trouble.
58CARTER
I know I’m in trouble, again, but I can’t believe DCI Bird made me wait outside. Harrison is dangerous. I’m certain of that now. She shouldn’t be alone with him.
But she’s the boss.
From Spyglass, I can see the whole village down below. Blackmoor National Park is shrouded in darkness on one side, and a moon-stained Cornish coast on the other. The view from up here stretches all the way to Blackwater Bay, and it’s beautiful. I can see a blanket of fog on the horizon, rolling in from the Atlantic as it often does. I can even see the bonfire on the beach, the final act of the Hope Falls Day of the Dead parade. I’ve missed the festival this year but I’m just glad today is almost over.
I can see my house from up here too, and I wish I was there instead of here. I long to be at home and in the warmth right now, with Jane and Steren. It’s a simple life, but it’s a good one. And my daughter is a miracle. I still can’t believe we made a tiny, precious, perfect human, or that she’s really ours. I love her so much it honestly hurts sometimes. I can’t wait to see who she’s going to be, and I’d do anything to keep her safe.
Anything.
It’s quiet up here. Almost completely silent except for the sound of the sea in the distance. It’s like a soothing lullaby, and despite the adrenaline rush just now I am very tired. I haven’t really slept since DCI Bird showed up—and I’ll be glad when this is all over and life can return to my version of normal. I look down at The Smuggler’s Inn, my old family home in the middle of the village. There is something very odd about the lights being off and the pub being in darkness on festival night, and there is still no reply from Maddy, so I take my phone out to try her again.
It’s even later than I thought—almost midnight—and I see that I’ve missed a call from Jane. It’s too late to call back now, I don’t want to wake the baby, and I kick myself for putting the phone on silent earlier. Nothing matters more than family. There is a message, as well as a missed call, but it’s not from my wife. Or my sister. It’s from my old pal at HQ, the one I got in contact with earlier to find out if DCI Bird could really suspend me. His reply isn’t relevant anymore—given I’m not suspended—but something about the start of the message catches my eye and I open it.
CARTER! LONG TIME NO SPEAK! DCI OLIVIA BIRD CAN’T SUSPEND YOU.
