It was literally fitting snug around one leg. But she needed to get in this Spanx for God and country and to avenge Darcy’s death. She got her second foot in and wiggled it up to her thighs. “I might lose ten pounds just getting into this thing.”
No one laughed.
“I can’t walk,” she called from behind the screen. “I’ve hog-tied myself.” She couldn’t walk, only jump.
“Keep pulling, Gabby!” They were talking her through it like she was defusing a bomb.
“I might need hazard pay for this. Does the EOD do that?”
She shut her eyes and focused. This was the simplest job they’d given her. She jumped to help yank it over her midsection. In her determination, she knocked over a stool that fell into the folding screen. It all went down. There she was, standing in front of a team of EOD agents with her muffin top spilling over her Spanx. Naked in her truest form.
Dante’s and Tina’s mouths hung open in horror for a moment. To their credit, they pulled it together and stepped into the battle. They each grabbed an edge and pulled. It took three of them, but they got her into the Spanx. Tina did her makeup, including a wicked cat eye and a neutral lip. Gabby had never looked better. Her eyes popped. Her skin glowed. She was a different person. They would just need some clothing shears to get it off her.
“Just one more piece.”
A woman named Ellen introduced her to her new nose. “Darcy had a substantial nose, so we are using a prosthetic. Just a little glue and then we can use makeup to blend it into your skin.”
“Okay.”
It tickled putting the nose on, the cool glue on her skin. When it dried, she started sneezing.
Ellen stared at the nose like a math problem. Looking more confident than she sounded, she said, “I’m sure the sneezing will stop when you get used to it.” Gabby was pretty sure she was allergic to the fake nose, but she hoped Ellen was right.
When all was said and done, they walked her to a full-length mirror. Gabby Greene was gone. She was looking at the face of Darcy Dagger, international woman of mystery.
Saturday, dinnertime, Greene household
Gabby’s makeover had her flying high. Who knew she could pull off bangs? She was a superspy in training, a supermom, and she was done up like the actress inThe Queen’s Gambit. She could do it all. To celebrate, she was going to make Justin and the kids dinner. Tonight, it would just be the four of them and one screen, rather than the usual one-to-one ratio of people to screens.
“I’m home!” she called, louder than normal, ready for the kids and Justin to come running and wrap her in hugs like she’d returned after a month away. Of course, for her, it’d been a journey. For them, it had been one day.
Justin walked around the corner in an apron with a spatula and gasped. Slow and deliberate, he said her name like he was lifting a prayer. “Gabriella Greene! Look at you!”
“You like?” She duck-faced and posed like an Insta model.
“I love!” He walked around her, taking in her new pants and blazer and her hair. “Did you get a makeover at work?”
“My boss gave me a gift certificate to a spa as a… signingbonus.” That didn’t make sense, but it’s not like she could tell him that the EOD gave her a makeover to look like a dead spy.
He narrowed his eyes, clearly suspicious. “What aren’t you telling me, girlfriend? Are you working for someone in Hollywood?”
Gabby laughed, savoring her secret. “I wish. It’s just some boring financial place. I just knew I needed to look more professional.”
Justin smelled a rat. “All this, over lunch? It looks like you had a whole team of beauty professionals working on you…”
Everything was different—hair, makeup, clothes, shoes. They’d even done her nails, and he was right. It had taken hours, longer than her self-defense training.
“Where are the kids?” she asked, changing the subject like she’d been a spy for years.
“Cleaning their rooms and doing homework.” He looked smug.
“Did you drug them or beat them?” As a mother, she had no bargaining power, and she knew it. Kyle and Lucas knew that they could never really truly lose her love—at least that’s how the internet psychologists explained why they never listened. Bargaining power was important.
He was still eyeing her new look. “Is there a guy?”
“I wish.” A vision of too-hot-to-be-a-spy Markus popped into her head. If he was too hot for international espionage, he was definitely too hot for her, but was she rational? No. Her subconscious was just another child she had to deal with, and it seemed like it might be a horny teenage child.
At least she could make dinner. “Justin, I’m making you dinner to thank you for today.” She had some frozen pizzas and a bag of salad in the fridge. She could elevate it with some good wine.
