“I think you’re jumping to conclusions. You said it yourself that I can’t trust my own memories right now.”
He exhales loudly. “Maybe, but there’s something off about him. About you and him. Why did it take him so long to reach out to you after your accident? I don’t trust him, Mia.”
I can’t deal with Max’s logic right now. I need JP to be a good guy—to bemyguy.
Max has his PhD, but all I have is JP.
JP looks better on paper. Actually, no one has ever looked better on paper. He’s a billionaire chocolatier. Just thinking the name Jacques-o-late makes me feel like I’ve been kissed, by fortune if not by a man. He’s been endorsed by the ABC Network, which wanted him to be the bachelor onThe Bachelor.And let’s face it, I’m paying Max to hang out with me. I’m not sure if what I’m feeling for him is real, or if I’m so vulnerable, needy, and scared of loneliness that I can’t see straight.
I stand up, putting some distance between us. “I’m going to get a soda.”
I walk to the vending machine in the hallway. When my Diet Pepsi gets stuck, I kick the shit out of it. I hear the lab door open and footsteps running toward me. “Hey, let me helpyou with that,” Max says gently. He tips the machine a little and my soda comes loose.
He holds the can out to me like a rose. Like he’s chosen me.
Suddenly, I’m overwhelmed. What am I doing? I need to uncomplicate my life—not make it messier and more dramatic.
“You keep it,” I say. “I’ll wait for you in the car while you finish up in the lab.” I walk away but can feel Max’s eyes burning through me.
An hour later, we’re driving south on the 701 back to JP’s house. The silence between us is pregnant, just like I would be if I lived out my complete fantasy with Max because God knows that I don’t have a birth control plan. Maybe I have an IUD? It’s just as likely that I’m on the pill and have forgotten to take it for four days. That’ll make a goodBustlearticle, at least.
I’m on my third Diet Pepsi. I’m not even thirsty but I need to keep my mouth busy—and I’ve already checked all of my social media platforms twenty-five times.
I run my finger along the stitches in the leather seat one at a time. The stitching is perfect, probably hand-done in Italy.
“I shouldn’t have kissed you,” Max says quietly.
“It’s 2020, Max. We kissed each other.” The kiss was definitely wrong, but it was also the only thing that felt right since I came out of the coma. Talk about a cliché.
“You have JP”
“I have JP,” I echo.
“I guess my question is…do you want toknowJP?”
I breathe deeply and shut my eyes. So much has happened in the last few days. “I just can’t even think at all. Would it be okay if we just chill for a minute?”
He sighs. “Sure, but I hope you understand that I don’t want to be your backup guy.”
So much for chill.
I look at him, studying his eyes as they study the road. “Max, if I didn’t have this boyfriend who I don’t remember, I would be all over you without any hesitation.”
“Exactly my point,” Max says. “Think about what you want.”
I turn to settle back in my seat. What Max doesn’t know is that I don’t have the luxury of pursuing what I want. JP is rich and could solve all of my financial problems. I’m ashamed to even think this, but there it is. I don’t want to just use him for his money, but I can’t help but see how easy life would be if I were with him.
Speak of the devil—my phone pings and I see a text from JP.
Hey Hunnybunny. See you in a couple of hours!
Hunnybunny—has he met me? Sugary endearments fit me like an XL hoodie from Old Navy.
Put on that lacy black dress. Taking you to Mr. Chow’s for dinner and drinks. I have something very important to ask you. xoxo
Based on photos in my Instagram feed, we’ve been dating for at least six months. I have a toothbrush at his house. Hecalls me Hunnybunny. In that first text convo he said something about a present even more sparkly than my personality.42
JP is definitely going to propose.
