“What are you smiling about?” Max asks. He inches forward, eager to see what has tickled my feminine fancy.
Of course I giggle and say, “Oh nothing.” Max doesn’t need to see this, but he sneaks a peek and his expression gets all confused and annoyed. “What the—?”
I have to admit, I get it. We just got off the phone with a Swiss billionaire who is totally in love with me, and now@Jules_In_Briefsis thinking about me on Instagram in his underwear. It’s kind of a lot.
Max makes a disgusted face and says, “How many boyfriends do you have?”
“It looks like two more than you have girlfriends. I wonder if he’s rich too?” I say, just for Max’s benefit.
“He’s not even a person, Mia. He’s probably a bot. He’s going to DM you and ask for your banking information and the last four digits of your social security number any minute now.”
A second later, I receive a DM from@Jules_In_Briefs. I squeal.
Max glares at me. “What is it?”
In a higher-pitched voice than normal, I announce, “Jules…he just texted me. Whoever he is, Max, he knows me. I need to know what he knows.”
Max sits up straighter. “Don’t open it, Mia. This is serious. Whoever is talking to you is not that guy. It’s probably some zitty teenager in his mom’s garage trying to steal your money.”
I smile at Max. There’s no way I’m not talking to@Jules_In_Briefs.
“Whatever you do, don’t click on any links.”
Not that it’s wrong to buy flattery from beautiful people/bots—wearein California—but I’m happy to find back-and-forth convos in the comment threads below my posts, implying that Jules and I havesomesort of relationship. “I definitely know Jules. He’s commented on my posts like a hundred times.” I might be rounding up for Max’s benefit. He’s cute when he’s all flustered and paying attention to me.
“Relationship with a bot,” Max counters.
“You’re just jealous.”
Max continues to glower.
Another message pops up:Where you @ gurl?
I respond:Taco truck, wru?
Him:You forgot!
Forgot what??!! Deleted all my texts by accident!
He sends a screenshot of our earlier convo.
He had written:June 16. Meet me at 3 at Laguna Beach.To which I had responded:Koo, cu then.
I look up at Max. I’m supposed to be in Laguna Beach right now in a bikini. I’m missing a date with@Jules_In_Briefs. I don’t really know who he is, but I want to know more. I want to be there—RIGHT NOW!
I quickly write:OMG!! Leaving now!
He responds:On set, but we can still talk.
I don’t know who Jules is to me, but I need to find out.“Max, I have to run to Laguna. I’m supposed to be with Jules right now.”
“Mia, are you insane? You can’t go meet this guy. You don’t even know who he is.”
“I set the date before I lost my mind. I’m sure it’s fine.”
Looking unbelievably annoyed, he says, “He’s probably a creep. You can’t go alone.”
“Um, no offense, but I think it would be weird if you came along. I mean, I’m an adult and I know him. He might be my gay bestie or a client.”
