I halfheartedly use the last chip to scoop up what’s left of my taco. “I honestly have no idea, but there must be some reason why I scheduled this post.” Was it advertising for GoldRush? Maybe I have an event at a hot-air balloon place coming up? I could almost push myself into an ice sculpture for writing the vaguest hashtag ever.#GuessWhat?Was that my idea of an announcement?
Maybe the girl with me is Crystal…Whoever she is, I didn’t tag her, but we look like best friends.
“Max, I need help. I’m begging you.”
He makes a funny groaning noise, like he’s physically dragging a three-hundred-pound yes from deep within his soul. But when he pulls it out, it’s perfect. “Yes, Mia. I’ll do it, but let’s work on the job title.”
Hearing Max say yes is even better than finding out I own a company. I might actually be able to keep the business with his help. “Thank you, Max.”
“You could call me a consultant.”
“You’d rather be a consultant than an intern?”
“An optimization consultant maybe.”
“Your job will be the same no matter what I call it.”
“Words matter, Mia.”
“How about vice president then?”
He nods as if that’s acceptable.
“Vice president…of romance,” I add, just to see the look on his face. He’s so cute when he looks stern about dumb stuff.
“Mia,” he admonishes me, his voice suddenly sounding like a sitcom dad’s. “Vice presidentperiod.”
“Are you sure? You could be vice president of anything. You could be the vice president of sex, even. As long as it relates to romance.”
Max ignores me and looks serious. “What about a contract that covers our mutual obligations?”24
Mutual obligations.I know I’ve hired the right man.
The internet tells us how to draft a contract. I think it’s a waste of time but if this is what makes him feel safe…
The top Google result tells me to title my document. I type:
GoldRush Employment Contract
Next step: identify the parties. Luckily I found out my last name a few minutes ago so I can make this thing legal. I type:Mia Wallace agrees to hire Max Charles…
Next: explain the job to be performed. “Ummmm…” I read the words aloud as I type them. “Max will help Mia understand her company and how to run it. This might include matchmaking, dating, accounting—” I stop and look up. “I don’t know, what do you think?”
Max looks like he’s rethinking his whole life, so I write:
Mia Wallace agrees to hire Max Charles to help with matchmaking and matchmaking support duties.
Sounding very disgruntled, he says, “That makes it soundlike I’ll be lighting candles and pouring wine.”
“I’ll add that in,” I say, just to annoy him. “Let’s move on to length of contract.”
“Dear God. I don’t know if I’m ready to commit to any length of time.”
I make aI hate to break this to youface and say, “Maybe that was your problem with Fay.”
“Oh my God. Just write a month. I’m sure it’ll take at least that long to straighten out anything at the lab.”
“We’re almost done. Compensation…what do you need?”
