I swallowed hard. “I appreciate that you did, Henri. That was probably very hard for you.”
“I’m a terrible person,” Henri cried, turning away. “If I weren’t such a coward, I would follow my parents’ examples.”
I was speechless at this outburst and grabbed his hand, squeezing it hard. “You must never think such things, Henri. Promise me you won’t consider them. I know you’ll keep your promise.”
Henri’s lower lip quivered. “I promise, Emile.”
“Good.” I kept holding his hand, and soon enough, he fell back to sleep, and I slumped back with a sigh.
It was no wonder that I’d imagined living skeletons, I thought tiredly as I rubbed my forehead. I was under so much stress. It was a miracle that I hadn’t caved under the pressure long ago.
When the sun finally sent beams of light through the dark hallways of Udolpho, I crawled into bed next to the still-slumbering count and held him. He smelled of sweat, but I didn’t mind as I curled into him. I rested my hand over his heart, and felt a steady pulse beneath my fingertips.
I was still upset with Henri for trying to talk me into this arranged marriage with his sister, but I couldn’t hate him. I understood where he was coming from, but that didn’t mean that I would give in to his wishes. If anything, him backing Montoni’s plan was a sign that I needed to let him go. I needed to leave this place, even if I had to do it on my own.
I began my preparations to flee Udolpho that afternoon. I secreted a store of food for a pack I’d made, and I hid it beneath my bed. I wrote a letter for Henri, knowing that I couldn’t leave without saying something to him. But I still needed to find a way out of the castle that wouldn’t be guarded. I knew that I likely wouldn’t be able to escape that night, but if I did find a weak point in the castle’s defenses, I wanted to be ready to take advantage of it at a moment’s notice.
I wandered the castle with a notebook, making notes of the halls and rooms, staircases and exits. If I was to find a way out, I would need to have some basic knowledge of the layout. The problem was that it was so sprawling. But, I realized, that was how I could likely find a place to flee. With so much ground to cover, the servants would be spread thin. I merely needed to exploit that in an area where escape was possible.
It took me a little over a week to create a coherent map of the place, between my obligations to appear for meals, where I feigned warming up to the idea of an arranged marriage and avoided Henri. I knew that I couldn’t give Henri the chance to change my mind. I understood why he wasn’t opposed to Montoni’s plans, but I couldn’t compromise, given Montoni’s untrustworthiness.
I hadn’t forgotten my earlier musings that perhaps there were passages in Udolpho that the inhabitants were unaware of. An ancient castle such as this would likely have some concealed way to leave, should it come under attack. I searched in the cellar first, but only found casks of wine, a dusty harpoon canon, and mildewed furniture in storage. I explored the east wing, which Bertolino had mentioned had been closed up while Montoni had been away, thinking that perhaps some area had weakened that I could exploit.
As the sun began to lower in the sky on my eighth day of exploring, I suddenly found myself in a courtyard that I hadn’t known existed before. I gained access from a door near my bedchamber, surprised to find myself outdoors once I stepped through it. The courtyard was small, and grass grew through cracks between stones, evidence to its neglect. Part of the castle had caved in nearby, and I picked over this area, but it didn’t amount to much in terms of escape possibilities.
One thing that I found peculiar, however, was a statue in the center of the courtyard. It was once again of the three goddesses from the hedge maze at Château le Blanc. Selene, Hecate, and Artemis. The lunar goddesses. I examined the statues closely, noting that they were mostly in the same positions as the others I’d seen, except that rather than Artemis holding up an arrow for consideration, she had one notched in a bow and aimed up at the sky.
“Why are you here?” I asked the statues.
But, of course, the stone figures did not answer.
That evening, I resolved to finish the book on lunar goddesses I’d taken from the apothecary shop. Their appearance here was too coincidental. They had to have some special meaning to the family, and I was too curious to ignore it, even if it temporarily sidetracked me from my immediate quest.
Most of the book had related lore and tales of the goddesses, and by the time I reached the final chapters of the book, I decided that it wouldn’t contain any information worth the time. But then I paused on a section that spoke of “The Children of Hecate.” They were witches, sworn to the lunar goddesses, perhaps even descended from their bloodlines. Their mission was to seek out and expose the enemies of the goddesses, to “never let them have a moment’s rest,” should they find comfort in the world, since “death was too merciful for their crimes.” In return, additional secrets of the occult were bestowed upon the witches.
Apparently, the mortal world wasn’t worth the attention of the goddesses, so they had their subordinates do their dirty work for them. They would have made good aristocrats.
I was just finishing the book when a soft rap from my bedroom door forced me to set it aside. I hesitated as I sat up in bed, wondering if it was perhaps Ludovico or another servant, come to check on me.
I opened the door to find Henri staring in at me with a crooked grin. “You’ve been avoiding me,” he accused, pushing his way inside.
I sighed as he walked around the room, as if he were searching out any changes I had made. He stopped at the chess table. “Do you play?”
I hesitated. “Barely. Ludovico promised to play with me, but your uncle has kept him rather busy. I think you’d call what I do blundering.”
Henri laughed. “Good. I hate losing.”
“So I’ve seen.”
The smile dropped from Henri’s face. “Come. Let’s not talk about that now. It clearly upsets you and … can we just be with each other right now?”
I wanted more than anything to forget my troubles, but Henri was part of them. I’d been turning the possibilities of life with Henri over in my mind this past week, and I realized how well Montoni’s plan could work, if not for Montoni’s involvement. But there was no remedy for that, so the entire plan had to be thrown out, and perhaps, my happiness with it.
Noting my distraction, Henri took a step toward me. “I have a surprise for you.”
I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. “What?”
“You’ll have to follow me to find out.”
