I opened my mouth to tell him no, but then I realized that I very much wanted company. And I wanted it to be him. Not because I thought I could procure information from him, but because Iwantedhim there.
I nodded.
Henri scooted onto the bed beside me and made to throw an arm around me. I pulled away from him, wincing at the hurt look that flashed across his face. “Sorry,” I murmured. “I wasn’t expecting …”
“No, of course,” he agreed. “It was presumptuous of me.”
I hesitated. I might end up regretting this, but I liked the feeling of his arms around me. I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I could use that comfort right now.
This is bad,I told myself but ignored the voice. I’d needed comfort when my parents had died, and I’d received none from my aunt. Henri had likely needed comfort when his parents had died, but he had been thrust onto the icy brute Montoni. We both likely craved real connection, given our losses. We weren’t so different in that way, I supposed. Maybe it wasn’t too late.
“Okay, go ahead,” I said, trying to ignore the triumphant grin that spread over his face as he pulled me back against him. I felt his warmth all along my body, and relaxed into the embrace. I looked back at him, narrowing my eyes. “Just keep your shirt on this time.”
Henri chuckled, deep in his throat, making my heart flutter. “Fine. For tonight.”
Satisfied, I smiled and closed my eyes, pulling his arm tighter around me.
The days stretched into a week, and while I wasn’t eager for a confrontation with my aunt, I almost wanted to get it over with. But instead, she spent her days mooning over Count Montoni, who seemed genuinely pleased by her attentions.
I hadn’t heard from Bram in that time, and I wondered what he must be thinking, if word had reached him of my aunt’s arrival, or if he’d put me from his mind for the time being, thinking I was angry with him.
“You should really be grateful for the hospitality of Count Montoni these past few weeks. He is a generous man, keeping you on even now, despite your subterfuge.” Aunt Cheron twirled her parasol as we slowly walked the hedges of the maze. In the daylight, the aisles seemed much wider, and everything so green and luscious that it was like a different environment altogether. “I’m frankly amazed that he didn’t turn you out immediately. A show of appreciation is in order, I should think.”
“Yes, Aunt.”
Cheron sent me a quick look of disapproval. “And while we’re here, call me Abigail. Referring to me as your aunt conjures up images of aged spinsters. I don’t want the count to get the wrong idea about me. I was a married woman, and I still have plenty to offer a man at this stage of life.”
I fought from rolling my eyes but inclined my head in acquiescence.
We stepped into the center of the maze, the statues of the three goddesses also less sinister bathed in sunlight. At the bottom of the fountain, silver discs reflected the sun. I narrowed my eyes as I realized that the reflection of the moon in the water was likely the cause of the statues seeming to glow with some supernatural light. It reminded me that I still had the book from the apothecary to pore over. I didn’t understand their significance here, but perhaps the book would offer insight.
“There is a ball tomorrow evening. The count went to considerable lengths to secure an invitation for you to attend.”
“A ball?” I frowned. “Why would I wish to attend a ball?”
“Because you are looking for a wife. Or have you forgotten our terms already?” Cheron sniffed. “I believe I made myself very clear on the matter. I would think you eager to secure a wife, given the alternative.”
I swallowed hard. There it was then.
“I wonder what my late father would think of you committing his only son to an asylum. Do you think he would be proud of your behavior?”
Cheron flinched as if struck, before whirling on me with a sneer. “My brother would have been severely disappointed in you. Yourway of lifewould mean the death of our bloodline. I never had children, no matter how I tried. My late husband’s fault, of course, because I certainly performed my wifely duty.” A muscle twitched in her jaw. “This family will not end with the scandal of one ungrateful brat.”
I pursed my lips, holding back a retort I was sure to regret. I glared at my aunt, recognizing my father’s chin in her face, and his striking blue eyes. My eyes. I looked away. It didn’t seem right that this woman, so cold to me, was a part of my family. But the proof was there, right in her face. I was deeply saddened to realize that she was my only attachment to my old life, to the parents I’d loved.
“I will attend the ball,” I found myself saying.
Cheron watched me for a moment, and then nodded. “That’s more like it. And don’t fret. I didn’t marry for love either. That’s not the point of bringing two houses together. It’s about sustaining and strengthening our families. A good match is an alliance of power. So long as you’re discreet, I don’t care what else you do, as long as you produce an heir. And I don’t find that unreasonable. It’s your duty.”
I bit down on my lip. I felt tears coming and there was no one I would rather cry in front of less than this woman with my father’s eyes. She didn’t realize how incredibly unhappy I would be in a life that was a lie. I thought of Bram, of his warmth, how genuine he was, and could see a simple life with the doctor. Simple, but happy, free of judgment and constant paranoia at being found out by a family I was forced into, a family I would only come to resent. I could never be married to another man, of course, but we could still be together, happy in the fact that we were meant for each other. The fact that Bram’s father only wanted for his happiness proved that it was possible. Just not for me with Aunt Cheron’s threat looming.
Unless I managed to secure Udolpho.
I would play along for now. Perhaps I could satisfy her with a false engagement or become so busy with these useless balls that I could buy the necessary time to uncover Montoni’s secrets. But I would not marry. I didn’t wish to have a constant reminder of how I’d failed and lived a lie. That might be a worse fate than an asylum.
I just wanted love. Real love. Was that so much to ask?
Trunks of my clothing arrived from La Vallée that afternoon, a party from my aunt’s staff deeming to visit my abandoned estate to arrange it. Annette assisted in making my wardrobe presentable, which consisted of a lot of pressing. She seemed agitated as we made idle chitchat with a new servant who worked with us, under Annette’s watchful eye. As we neared the end of our work, Annette dismissed the servant, sighing heavily as the door closed behind her.
