Matías ran up and stopped me, grabbing my shoulders and looking at me with his dark eyes. He didn’t need to say anything. I could read his face like a book.
“You knew.”
“I suspected.”
“Why did you never tell me anything?” I asked furiously.
“Because I wasn’t sure, Maya. I couldn’t risk screwing up what you guys have when I wasn’t certain. I’m sorry.”
“How long have you suspected?”
“A few months, give or take.”
“A few months, seriously?”
“He started acting weird after Natalia asked Sofía to step in foryou. She praised him to high heaven and he obviously didn’t mind, but still, it never occurred to me that Antoine would do anything. I mean, he fucking adores you! But I did start seeing things, and…”
“Just let it go. I don’t even want to know…”
I leaned into him and cried, my tears soaking his T-shirt. I could feel his hand on the nape of my neck and the other hand stroking my back as he kissed me on top of my head.
“He’s a dickhead,” Matías said. “He doesn’t deserve you… What will you do now?”
“We’re close to the train station. When the high-speed line comes through, I could throw myself in front of it. If I jump right in front of the engine car, I don’t think I’ll survive.”
I could feel him shaking as he laughed in silence. “That’s not funny,” I whispered.
“It is, though.”
“I want to go home.”
“Let’s go home, then,” he said.
We didn’t say anything more as we walked. He held me up as he always did, and I let his affection warm me inside. I loved him like crazy, and just having him there made me calmer than I would have been.
My phone wouldn’t quit ringing, and the sound was driving me crazy. I knew who it was. I stopped a moment to block his number. Then I erased it.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Matías asked me cautiously.
“He cheated on me. Who knows since when, and with how many girls. There’s no way I’m going to talk to him again.”
We reached the doorway to my building, and I pulled away from him reluctantly.
“Are you going to be OK?” he asked.
“Yeah, don’t worry.”
“I can stay if you like.”
“You know how my grandmother is.”
“I love ignoring her, and I’m good at it,” he joked.
“Yeah, that’s why she can’t stand you.”
“Good thing I don’t care.”
I looked down at my feet. I didn’t really want to say goodbye, because I knew once he left, my life preserver would be gone and I’d be unable to remain afloat in the sea of self-pity.
