What was that question about? I tried to turn away, but he squeezed me in his arms so I couldn’t move.
“No way,” I responded. “Never. What would give you that idea?”
“I don’t know. You just never talk about him, so I wasn’t sure.”
“Do you want me to?”
He slid his fingers up and down my arm, kissed my neck, tickled me with his breath. “Not especially. How many boyfriends have you had?”
I looked back at him. “Why do you care?”
He bit his lower lip, and for the first time, I saw him as vulnerable. “Because I’m insecure and gossipy and I get nervous when you duck my questions.”
That was strange. We’d been sleeping together for two weeks, and it was evident we liked each other, that we were both very attracted to each other. Day or night, it didn’t matter, we were always struggling to keep our hands off each other. That was it. And I knew I was starting to have even stronger feelings for him, emotions that had taken root without me realizing it and were starting to grow.
But as for Lucas… I wasn’t sure until just then.
“I’ve gone out with three guys,” I told him. “The first one was just a summer hookup. His name was Daniel, and he was a stuck-up jerk. We were both seventeen and he broke up with me when he found another chick who would let him touch her boobs.”
“Yeah, he sounds like an idiot,” Lucas said.
“When I moved to London, I met Eddie. We were together for seven months, then I found out on Instagram that we were apparently in an open relationship.”
“Oh no!”
“It wasn’t as bad as it sounds. I mean, I liked him, but whatever. Then it was Antoine’s turn. We knew each other, we had studied together at the dance conservatory. We met up again when I came back from London and I joined the company. I guess all those hours together added up and we found ourselves going out.”
“You fell in love with him,” Lucas said, and I wasn’t sure whether it was a question or a statement.
“I thought so, but now I’m not so sure.”
“Why?”
“I mean, I didn’t have anyone to compare him with in that sense.”
“And now…?” Lucas asked.
I didn’t have the courage to tell him yes. That I’d never felt emotions as intense as the ones he provoked in me, and that now I was questioning every choice I’d ever made. That I wondered whether I was falling love with him or if the whole situation in Sorrento, the intensity of everything there, was making me lose my bearings.
“You’re nosy today,” I said, turning and splashing a little water over the tub’s lip. “Why don’t you tell me about you? Have you had a bunch of girlfriends?”
He stroked his jaw and leaned back. “Since I got here, I’ve only had hookups. Nothing serious.”
“What about before?”
“I was with the same girl for ten years.”
“Ten years? That’s like a lifetime.”
“You’re telling me,” he said.
He stared off into the distance as I sat there dying of curiosity. I wrapped my legs around him and sat in his lap.
“What happened?” I asked.
He told me he’d never talked to anyone about this before.
“I’m not just anyone,” I replied.
