I gave up, or gave in, to his eyes, his sincere smile, the little wrinkles in his forehead, and that mole on his brow I was now obsessed with as a mark that proved our kinship.
“Fine.”
The door led to a small sitting area with a glass counter and chairs around a small table. On the walls were photos of girls performing and posters of some of the most important ballets, likeThe Nutcracker,Romeo and Juliet,Sleeping Beauty, andLe Corsaire. A shelf held trophies and decorative plants.
“You can leave the bike here,” he said, pointing to a spot next to the counter.
Looking around, I told him, “This place is amazing.”
“You like?” I nodded. “There’s a class going on right now if you’d like to take a look. Just come with me.”
He guided me down a hallway and paused at a pair of doors. Onone was a drawing of a tutu, on the other, a pair of pointe shoes. From the second came the sound of piano playing.
“The kids love to have an audience,” Giulio whispered.
He pushed the door open and my stomach fluttered as he invited me in and we stood against the wall to avoid interrupting the class. A dozen students were doing their exercises with the barre. None was older than seven, but they were disciplined and attentive as their teacher showed them the moves and a woman marked rhythm with the piano. It was enchanting, but the slight echo of a ringing phone interrupted it.
“I’ll be right back,” Giulio whispered.
I murmured anOKand remained there, observing, until the teacher paused to let the students go to the bathroom and get a drink of water. She nodded to me as she passed by and walked out into the hall. The children all broke up into their little cliques except for one girl who remained at the barre, very concentrated, trying to execute a pirouette.
She tried and tried, and each time she stumbled.
I noticed her posture wasn’t right—her back was too arched, and she was putting her weight on the wrong foot. She groaned. Her frustration was moving to me. I had been just as hard on myself when I was her age.
I came close to her, smiling to make her feel more comfortable, and gestured for her to observe me. I got into position, and she did the same. With a hand on her back, I showed her the correct posture, and with the other hand, I tugged at her chin to get her to lift her head and look up. She did and managed a perfect turn. She radiated happiness as we both clapped our hands.
From behind me, I heard Giulio say, “The Balanchine method?”
“No, Vaganova,” I replied without thinking. Then I stiffened as I noticed the curiosity in his eyes.
“I knew it the first time I saw you,” he said. “The way you walk, your posture… Where did you study?”
As the blood drained from my face, I told him, “The Mariemma Royal Conservatory of Dance.”
Hie eyes opened wide. “I took two summer classes there! When I was eighteen. I had a scholarship, and I was auditioning at the Ballet of the Opéra de Paris, and I spent several weeks in Madrid.”
The world seemed to be spinning around me and I felt pressure in my chest. That was the moment I’d been waiting for. All I had to do was tell him what I knew. This was why I’d come there, to get to know him. I could mention my mother, tell him she’d gotten pregnant that same summer and I’d seen the photos of the two of them together… Tell him he might be my father…
I opened my mouth over and over.
But I couldn’t.
Panic seized me, and the words got caught in my throat, and I told myself over and over this just didn’t make sense. “What a coincidence!” was all I managed to say, my tone forced.
“It is!” He was looking at me as if he’d seen me for the first time. “So you dance professionally?”
“I did. I was a part of the Royal Ballet company, and then I joined the Spanish National Company as a soloist. I was prima ballerina.”
“Wow, and so young. That’s impressive.”
“It’s not such a big deal,” I told him timidly.
“What’s your favorite thing to perform?”
“Oh, there are so many pieces… The third act ofSwan Lake, the second act ofGiselle, the ‘Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy’…”
“Those are all pas de deux.”
