I looked all around, disappointed.
Close by was a restaurant with outside seating. I weaved my way between the packed tables, looking down at the pizzas and pastas,the fish, the toasted bread that smelled of oregano and olive oil. My mouth was watering, and I was exhausted.
A couple got up, leaving one of the tables free, and I sat down there in a hurry, body buckling in the chair. For a long time, I just stared at the sea. My legs were like lead, and my throat was parched.
I tried to comb my hair with my fingers, thinking how horrible I must look.
“Buonasera.”
I looked over at a young man with a tray and a cloth in his hand, and reciprocated his cheerful smile. He quickly cleared away the dirty plates, wiped off the table, and offered me a menu.
“Grazie,” I said, and he vanished no sooner than he’d appeared. I looked through the dishes, which all sounded delicious, but all that fat, all those carbs, all those calories would do me in, and I…
I remembered something. I didn’t have to watch my weight. I didn’t have to make sacrifices to stay thin or control my hunger. A silly chuckle escaped me at the mere thought of hot, oily, melted cheese, and bread and more bread.
Just then, a man’s hand swooped down before my eyes, setting down a clean plate and silverware.
“Buonasera, chè cosa ordina la signorina?”
13
I looked up and saw a pair of grayish-blue eyes staring at me with curiosity. I opened my mouth to answer, but I wasn’t sure what he’d asked. He had a soft, welcoming face and a rebellious strand of hair that fell over his brow until he blew a brusque breath of air and it settled back into place.
In a moment like that, you don’t know. You never do. No one recognizes the moment that changes their life forever. It’s just minutes that come, that pass, that leave things as they were before. And yet, it’s happened. There’s been a change, and there is no turning back.
The same way no one recognizes the person who’s fated to change them forever. It’s just a person, after all. They show up one day without you expecting it, and they look at you. You don’t know it, but something’s happened. Your pupils dilate, you feel their breath on you, and your hair stands on end. You hold each other’s stare for too long. These are nearly imperceptible details, you chalk them up to something else, but in fact, they’re the beginning of something important. Something that may drown you or save you. Because some waves carry you back to the shore, and others drag you down to the seafloor.
“Ha bisogno di pensarlo ancora un po’…?” the guy said, pointing at the menu.
I was pretty sure he was asking if I needed more time to think it over. Which meant he was in a rush for me to order. I looked back at the menu.
“Voglio mangiare una pizza ai quattro…” I tried to say it in Italian and shook my head, cursing to myself, “Dammit, I don’t even know if that’s how you say it!”
He giggled and asked, “Española?” Relieved, I nodded. “From what city?” he continued.
“Madrid.”
I asked where he was from, too, but I was already beaming because his accent left no room for doubt. He nodded, looked at my bag, and uttered the words I was waiting to hear. “I’m from Madrid, too.”
“What a coincidence!”
“You’d think that, but you wouldn’t believe the number of Spanish people living around here. Anyway, what would you like?”
I looked up and down the plastic surface of the menu until I found what I wanted. “This: a four-cheese pizza, a Coke, and some of that toasted bread they have on the other tables.”
“Sure. So for bread, we’ve got oregano, onion, capers, black olive…”
“I don’t know, which one do you recommend?”
“Black olive. It comes with a spicy oil, you’ll love it.”
“That works, then.”
He wrote everything down on a little pad and told me it would be up in around fifteen minutes.
I watched him turn and disappear into the restaurant, then drew a long breath of air. It tasted of salt. I didn’t bother trying to conceal my curiosity about the other tables. I wondered whether I’d really seen Giulio or had just wanted to. I wasn’t sure.
My phone dinged and I took it out of my bag. It was a text message from Matías:
