“Olga!” my grandfather said.
“Am I wrong? She was ready to leave us here after all I’ve sacrificed for her. All the time I spent trying to make her into something.”
I opened my mouth to defend myself, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have the strength to say a word. I was beaten, defenseless, frozen. I felt a part of me had died inside, and she hadn’t even budged as she’d spoken those words.
“How much time do I have?”
“The apartment needs to be empty in three days.”
I nodded and walked automatically to my room. Once inside, I shut the door and leaned against it, feeling suffocated. They’d kicked me out with no warning, without offering me a shoulder to cry on. I was alone, the way I’d always felt with my family.
There had been a division there since forever: them on one side, me on the other, divided by a thick line, like rivals on opposite sides of the field. I never knew why, though. If it was because I lookeddifferent, or because my mother left me. My mother—the black sheep of the family. Or maybe it was because my father was some stranger who didn’t even know I was alive.
I had been a mistake, and nobody had wanted me. I invaded their lives. I shattered a dream, and now they wanted me to make that better. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t fix things.
I walked to the window and lowered the blinds. It was hot in there. Someone knocked on the door. I saw the knob turn, saw my grandfather’s face peeking in.
“Maya?”
I walked over and took his hand. “Do you need something, Grandpa?”
He squeezed my hand and shook his head. I guided him over to my bed and helped him sit down.
“I can’t make her be reasonable. When she gets something in her head, she just can’t see any further. She won’t listen.” I could tell he was upset as he told me this.
“Don’t worry about it. I don’t want you to have to argue with her because of me.”
“How can I not worry, honey? Leaving you here, all on your own.”
I settled down next to him, feeling resigned.
“I’ll make it. I’m not a little girl anymore.”
“You’ve never been a little girl,” he mused. “I wish there was something I could do, but since I went blind, they’ve treated me like a damn fool. A zero, someone whose opinion doesn’t even count. I’m blind, not stupid! My brain works just fine.”
“Of course it does. But you know… Maybe it’s not such a bad idea, you two moving down there. Andrey’s got a great house, with a huge yard. You can sunbathe and take walks on the beach.”
He clicked his tongue in displeasure. “I hate the beach.”
I giggled and rested my head on his shoulder. I loved him so much.I can’t say he was like a father to me—he never tried to be—but he did give me the best upbringing he could, and he was always there for me with open arms.
“Everything will be OK,” I whispered.
“That’s for me to say.” He waited a moment before continuing. “Maybe I shouldn’t have loved her so much. If it had been different, maybe I’d have had the strength to face her. To tell her she should think twice before raising our granddaughter the way she did. But I didn’t do it.”
Neither did I, I thought.
In the background, I could hear the traffic and the washing machine rumbling down the hall.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked me after a couple of minutes had passed.
“How I don’t know where to put my things,” I said, looking around.
The pain in my chest wouldn’t go away. In fact, it got worse as I realized that a day would come when other pictures would decorate my walls, other clothing would hang in my closet, another person would live in my bed.
“You can take it down to the storage room in the basement. We won’t rent it out.”
“OK.”
