“Call me soon, OK?”
“Will do, bye.”
I hung up and caught my breath, as I looked again over at Guille, who was running toward the boardwalk, where I could see my mother’s outline. There were two other people with her. I squinted, trying to see who they were.
Then I shuddered, and I felt a tingle all over. Impossible, I thought. I must be imagining things. But the closer he came, the more real it all was. I was stunned, and all I could do was watch and tremble. He stopped and looked me over. I felt smaller than I ever had and wrapped my arms around my body instinctively, as if that could protect me.
His hair was longer and hung loose over his forehead. He was wearing a white sweatshirt, and that made his tanned face look darker. His jeans were baggy and hung off his hips.
He smiled at me.
“I should tell you something,” he said. “Your grandfather had a mole just like ours. In the very same place.” He reached up and touched his brow. “It’s funny, but I was looking at old pictures, and you look much more like him than me.”
“What are you doing here?” I asked.
“Daria got in touch with me a few days ago at the school. We’ve talked a couple of times since then.”
Now I was starting to understand. But this was crazy! My mother had actually gotten him to come here?
“She shouldn’t have called you,” I said. “You were under no obligation to come.”
“And no one made me, Maya. I’m here because it’s where I need to be. Coming here was the right thing to do…”
I stopped him. “You never wanted children, and I’m old enough to deal with my issues on my own. I didn’t need you to do this, OK? You don’t have to make something up for me. Go back to your family and forget all this.”
He stepped forward and tried to look me in the eye.
“You didn’t let me finish, Maya. May I?” I nodded, and he went on. “I’m here because it’s the right thing to doandbecause I want to be here.”
“You were so mad when I left.”
“I was caught by surprise. I didn’t know how to handle it. I was scared.” He looked up into the sky, as though to draw strength from it.
“No, it was my fault,” I told him. “Right from the beginning, I screwed everything up. I’m really sorry.”
“Maya, it’s not your fault. You’re not responsible for anything. I can’t even imagine how hard it must have been for you.”
“I mean, I can’t really act like you were responsible either…”
“Maybe not, but here we are, right?”
I nodded, gulped, tried to slow my racing heart. “I hope everything’s OK with Dante.”
“Dante and I are doing great. He asked to come along.”
He pointed behind him and I looked over at the boardwalk, where my mother was talking to someone. Was it him? I wasn’t evensure I wanted to know. Our last encounter had scared me. Nor did I really know what Giulio was doing there. I looked at my father for a moment in silence, and then he began speaking. “What I said about not wanting to have kids… I didn’t get the chance to explain.”
I held myself tighter and tried to hold in my tears. “You don’t have to explain anything to me. We are who we are.”
“It’s got nothing to do with who I am. It’s more complicated than that,” he said softly.
He walked toward a boat that was stranded on the beach, and I followed him. He leaned against the hull and motioned for me to come over, and I stood next to him, so close that our arms touched. I observed him in profile. It still didn’t seem real that he was here, that he’d just shown up after I’d convinced myself I’d never see him again.
We looked out at the sea for a few moments, and then he turned to me and confessed, “My father’s name was Vicenzo, and he was the greatest guy in the world. Never in my life did I meet another person like him, and I adored him. I know there are millions of kids who say that about their dad, but mine was special. You can’t even imagine. We were close, and I was a wreck when he died. I never got over it. The pain is still with me today. And that’s why I promised myself I’d never have kids. Not because I didn’t want to, but because I refused to bring a person in the world whom I might make suffer the way I suffered over my father. It didn’t seem fair, causing someone else that kind of pain, no matter how much people say life is just like that.”
I blinked, confused. Was that really it? He didn’t want to make another person suffer? Hearing that was like meeting him again for the first time. I’d never experienced the death of someone I was close to. I didn’t know what it felt like, but the despair in Giulio’s eyes in that moment gave me a sense of how it must feel.
“You must think that’s absurd, right?” he added, smiling.
