Matías called me in midafternoon. It was Rodrigo’s birthday and they were going to give him a surprise when the rehearsal was over. I said I couldn’t go, and that made me feel even worse. Moreover, it was pointless. Matías was an expert at dismantling my excuses, and for ten minutes, he parried every attempt I offered to get out of it. He made me feel like an idiot for avoiding Antoine and Sofía, and like a bigger idiot for ducking the people who had been my friends for so long. For hiding from everything and everyone like I was a criminal.
“You win,” I told him, “I’ll be there.”
“Eight o’clock at La Cantina, then. Don’t be late.”
At ten to eight, I was walking into Matadero, a former slaughterhouse that had been converted into a series of arts spaces and bars, and was walking toward our meeting place. I liked it there, down in the old boiler room, but even better was the patio with its plants everywhere and its furnishings made of cast-off shipping pallets.
Everyone was already there when I arrived, and soon I was being kissed, hugged, greeted on all sides. It was moving—how couldn’t it be? And I felt stupid for almost missing out on it all. For being so weird and antisocial. For giving up so quickly what mattered to me, for not staking my claim to what was mine. Especially when nobody had forced me to go but myself.
“Maya!”
“Fyodora!” I exclaimed.
She kissed me all over my face.
“You bitch! How am I only just now finding out that you’re back?”
Before I could answer, everyone fell silent, apart from soft murmurs and chuckling, and I looked around and crossed eyes with Sofía. Strangely, I didn’t feel anything at all. Nothing good, nothing bad.Just nothing. Whatever wounds I’d had before were healed over. There wasn’t even a scar left. Barely a memory of why she might have ever mattered to me.
I laughed when I saw Matías guide Rodrigo in with a blindfold on his eyes. Antoine was with them. Antoine looked shocked when he saw me. Clearly, Matías hadn’t bothered informing him or Rodrigo, who rushed over as soon as he could see again. I hugged him tight and said, “Happy birthday!” Then I frowned and apologized for not bringing a present with me.
“You’re my present. I’m so happy to see you!”
I laughed and let myself be hugged again.
As the night went on, I was surprised to realize I was having fun. At some point, I got up to go to the bathroom and stopped at the bar for an iced tea. The place was crowded, and I didn’t think anything of it at first when I felt someone behind me. But then I turned and saw it was Antoine with an awkward grin on his face. “Hey,” he said.
“Hey.”
He sighed and responded, “Well, that’s a start. Honestly, I didn’t think you’d talk to me.”
“And yet, here we are.”
“Yeah.” He shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I’ve called and texted you I don’t know how many times these past few months.”
“I know. But I didn’t feel like talking,” I admitted.
His green eyes looked down and he prepared himself for his grand declaration, “I’m sorry, Maya. I was stupid for not valuing what we had, and not a day passes when I don’t regret what I did. And if you wanted, I… We—”
I raised a hand to stop him. “I’m with someone, Antoine.”
He nodded several times, squeezing the bottle in his hand. Whenhe opened his mouth, I thought he would say something vengeful, but instead, he struggled meekly to get out the words, “Is it serious?”
“I don’t know, honestly. But I hope so.”
“Where did you meet?”
“In Italy.”
“Italy. Wait a minute. Is that where you’ve been all this time?”
“Yeah, you didn’t know? Matías didn’t say anything?”
I had just taken it for granted, with Matías living with him, that where I was would have come up between them at some point during those past few months. They were friends, after all.
“No! The son of a bitch has kept the whole thing to himself. I guess you did want to get away from me then.”
“It wasn’t about you, actually.”
