“How do you know I haven’t?”
“Because I know you, Maya.”
The way he said that, I felt exposed, as though he had seen through the shell I hid behind to pretend that everything was all right. That shell without which I was just a bundle of emotions that spun around uncontrolled. And that meant Lucas was starting to understand the chaos inside me.
“I’m not sure that’s a good thing,” I told him.
“Why?”
I looked down at the Chinese writing on his shirt. “Maybe you’ll stop liking me when you really get to know me. I’ve got a lot of defects, and I’m pretty sure the bad outweighs the good.”
“And what about me?” he asked.
“You’re perfect.”
Forcing me to look up at him, he said, “You want to know the first thing I noticed about you?” I shook my head. “It wasn’t those precious eyes. It wasn’t those lips that drive me wild. It wasn’t these.” He grabbed my breasts, making me laugh, then brought his hands down to my waist. “It was the cracks in you, Maya. The wounds you tried to hide and I wanted to lick until they healed. The first day you opened your mouth to order that pizza, I could tell how fragile you were.”
“Lick?” I asked sarcastically. “You mean like a cat?”
He leaned over and ran his tongue across my lips. “I love cats.”
“I’m starting to like them, too,” I said.
“We should get one and give it a funny name, like Aires or Odin or Thor.”
“What if it’s a girl?”
“Cookie,” he responded without hesitation.
“What the hell kind of name is Cookie?”
He kissed me and I felt my bones turn to jelly. That was just the effect he had on me. I walked him to the door and stood there as he called the elevator. And I stayed there as he disappeared. I sighed and thought of Matías. I had been since I’d gotten to Madrid. I was dying to see him, but I wasn’t ready to hear him sayI told you so. With Lucas, I had to be strong, sensible, but with Matías…
With him, I could break down, and I was afraid I would.
I closed my eyes tight and told myself I was acting like a fool. If there was anything I needed just then, it was that slightly introverted, slightly rebellious guy who had been by my side since we were kids.
I wanted to surprise him, so I took a risk. I sat at the bus stop in front of his house and waited for him, hoping his routines and his schedule hadn’t changed. He was predictable, always had been; improvisation was never his thing.
I saw him turn the corner in his athletic gear with a canvas bag on his shoulder. He passed right by me, distracted as ever, not even looking over. I walked behind him, trying not to burst out laughing, until he stopped in his doorway and started digging for his keys.
“You know, you and I would make the perfect couple,” I said.
He froze. Inhaled. Turned slowly. Looked me in the eye. “No fucking way. What are you doing here?”
“Surprise!”
He hugged me so tight my ribs cracked, lifting me effortlessly off the ground. “I can’t believe you’re here!” he shouted.
I wrapped my hands around his neck and sniffled. I’d waited thirty seconds to start crying. A record. “You look amazing.”
“You’re the one who looks amazing. You hightailed it out of Madrid looking all depressed, skin and bones, and now…”
I slapped his shoulder. “What do you mean, skin and bones?”
“I’m just saying, you look gorgeous. That place is working wonders for you. But wait a minute… What are you doing here? Did something happen?”
“Lucas’s dad is sick. They’ve operated on him, but they’re not sure if he’ll recover. I don’t want him to have to go through this alone. He doesn’t have what you’d call an amazing relationship with his family.”
