I listened with interest, but my attention was really on what lay beyond the window, where Trey and his grandfather were sitting on a stump and conversing. Serious. Hardly moving.
I wondered why Trey had been so hesitant to tell me about his family. I’d been surprised that his grandparents were Mi’kmaq. He’d never mentioned it. But still, I couldn’t imagine he thought his origins were something to hide from me.
“Are you and Trey seeing each other?”
The question put an end to my speculation. I blushed, embarrassed that my mind was wandering and also because I hadn’t expected such a personal question.
“Us? Going out? Well…um…” I chuckled. “See, the thing is…”
“You don’t have to feel uncomfortable. It’s none of my business, anyway.”
“No, it’s not that. It’s more complicated. Sorry…”
She looked back down at her cooking, as though to tell me it didn’t matter.
“I’ve known Trey for a long time, but up to now, he and I… What I mean is, like…” All this dillydallying was starting to get onmynerves; I couldn’t imagine how the old woman felt. “We ran into each other a few days ago, after a pretty long time, and I just can’t really say if what we’re doing is going out. If it makes sense to say we’re together. If we have, like, a relationship. I just don’t know.”
“Of course.”
“Maybe it’s too early to think about getting serious, you know?”
“I don’t. That’s for you all to decide.”
Her meditative expression, her words, something about her just invited me to open up to her.
“I guess, yeah. Actually I did ask him, and he told me that we had to let time tell us what the future has in store.”
I couldn’t believe I’d admitted that to her, and I could tell she hadn’t expected it. “He told you that?” she said. “And then he brought you here to meet us?”
I nodded, grinning meekly.
“Pretty much. Your grandson isn’t what I’d call transparent, and I think he’s confused about himself and about what’s going on in his mind.”
Elaine burst out laughing. “Oh, honey, that’s an inborn trait of the men in this family. If you try to understand them, they’ll end up driving you crazy. And just so you know, Trey’s not my grandson. But I love him as if he was.”
“He’s not? Sorry, I just assumed…”
“Don’t apologize, it makes me happy that you did. I’m Nicholas’s second wife. The first one died not long after his only daughter was born.”
“Trey’s mother, you mean?”
“Yeah. Her name was Marianne. I guess you know that, though.”
She gave me a sweet look before taking the potatoes away to wash them. Of course, I had no idea what Trey’s mother’s name was. I had no idea about anything to do with Trey or where he’d come from. I’d seen his dad a few times at different events: he was arrogant, full of himself, and from what I’d heard, a womanizer. I’d never liked him, and I was ashamed to admit that some of my prejudices against Trey were really because of his father.
I was trying to choose between grilling Elaine about her step-grandson or respecting Trey’s privacy, since there was so much he hadn’t trusted me enough to tell me. My principles, my conscience, told me not to dig any deeper. I didn’t have the right.
I hated being such a good girl.
And I hated not being able to turn my mind off.
20
Nothing Lasts
After a dinner in near-silence, Trey asked me to take a walk with him. Night had fallen and it was humid, and the fresh scent of plants surrounded me.
For a while, neither of us spoke. I was being rebellious. I needed that sometimes, to act like a child and have my little tantrums. I was looking for the least excuse to argue. I was frustrated. I hadn’t realized I felt that way, and it was driving me mad.
