“That’s debatable.”
Hoyt looked anxious as he rubbed his face and passed an arm over my shoulder on the way to the car. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“It didn’t look like nothing.”
“I just don’t feel like talking to him. I realize he’s your best friend and all, but he’s not a good guy, and you know that. He’s an idiot.” As I saw the sarcasm in Hoyt’s expression, I continued, “It’s true! I didn’t realize it when I was little, I even thought he was nice, but I’ve grown. Now I see people the way they are, and I just don’t want anything to do with Trey.”
Once we reached the garage, my brother hit the remote, and the door lifted to reveal several cars. The lights on his Jeep blinked. Igot inside and took off my shoes. Hoyt put it in gear and we left Léry without a word, him thinking his thoughts and me thinking mine. Eventually, after those tense hours, I fell into a not unpleasant lethargy.
“Trey isn’t the same guy he used to be,” my brother murmured after a while.
I opened my eyes and looked away from the window I’d been leaning on. My face was starting to feel numb. “That’s what you say.”
“Thatiswhat I say.” His tone led me to think he might be irritated with me. “He’snotthe guy he used to be. And he hasn’t been for a long time.”
“You’re telling me he’s no longer a womanizer and a moron?” That stung him. Whatever I might have thought or felt, Trey and he were close. I almost regretted my words.
He looked as if an immense weight were burdening him. “He’s changed. We all have a right to change. And all of us do change with time. Some more than others. Don’t you think?”
I nodded, but I wasn’t really sure. To tell the truth, I wasn’t sure at all. Many people never even tried to change, either because they didn’t believe they could have a better life or they didn’t want one. Whether that meant being a better person or…just anything. Why would Trey Holt bother changing if he’d always had the world at his feet?
My brother cleared his throat.
“I’ve learned some things these past few years. First, appearances can be deceiving. Second, when we judge someone based on past prejudices and not firsthand, we’re often mistaken. And if we refuse to look beyond the surface, if we refuse to dig any deeper, then maybe the problem isusand the waywesee reality.”
My cheeks reddened, and I felt like a student caught cheating on a test. My brother was young, but still, he had more or less raised me. Since our mother left us, he had simply accepted that I was anotherof his obligations. He worried about my grades, my friendships, my behavior, and he wasn’t shy about chewing me out or putting limits on me if necessary.
I was grateful for all that, for him giving up a part of his adolescence to make sure mine could be as normal as possible. That meant I couldn’t bear disappointing him. And just then, it seemed that I had.
His words made me feel bad about myself. At the same time, there was fury burning in my chest, and the fire refused to go out. I couldn’t accept that Trey had changed, that he was no longer who I thought he was. It’s easy to hate the bad guy in a movie. But when he repents or redeems himself or dies, that hatred turns to pity, and pity into forgiveness. And I didn’t know if I could forgive him. But I didn’t forget what my brother said.
5
I Closed My Eyes and Jumped
Thump, thump, thump…
I opened my eyes reluctantly, just a crack. Enough to make sure the sun hadn’t risen.
Thump, thump, thump.
It wasn’t a dream. It wasn’t my imagination. Someone was knocking on the door. Or trying to beat it down, to be exact. I looked over at my alarm clock blinking on the bedside. It was five in the morning. I’d barely slept. I got up and crept over to the peephole.
“Hayley? What the hell are you doing here?”
I opened the door and she stumbled in, falling on top of me. She’d had her ear pressed tight to the door. As we hit the floor, we dragged down a coatrack full of jackets and sweaters no one ever bothered wearing, and one of the wooden hangers hit me on the head.
“Ow!”
“Oh jeez, Harper, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
My hand on my forehead, I stared at her. I was going to have a serious bruise. She crawled over to take a look.
“I’m sorry,” she repeated, then grabbed my arm. “But why did you open up without saying anything? You almost killed us.”
“Why did I what? The better question is, what are you doing hereat five in the morning? You scared me to death! Shouldn’t you be in an airplane on your way to your honeymoon?”
