I don’t say anything.
Rain starts to fall in small drops.
Easton looks back toward the edge of the cliff. “Guess Dad’s going to have to find someone else to buy weed from,” Easton says. Then he heads for the car. “Come on. We need to pick up our phones. And there’s something else I want to go over with you.”
He walks to the car and I follow him. Because I don’t know what else to do. Easton has thought so far ahead for so long. And now I’m trapped.
Thirty-Nine
Easton pulls into the ice cream shop lot and parks in the same spot we parked in earlier. He cuts the engine and turns to me.
“What you did—pretending to be Nate—was selfish and manipulative.”
I don’t say anything. I feel a little numb. I can’t stop thinking of JT’s body lying there. Or how his family is going to think he was clumsy and fell. I’ve known for weeks that I was being selfish and manipulative, but now I feel worse because Marcus and Valencia didn’t kill Nate. And they have no idea their son is a psychopath.
He continues. “But I don’t think you’re a bad person.”
“No, not like you.”
He snorts. “I mean, there’s no such thing as good people and bad people.Goodandbadare words made up by idiots looking for meaning in their life. Society was built by religions telling us that we have to be good to get into heaven. But that’s all bullshit. There’s no God, no afterlife. We’re all animals walking around on two legs. When I killed Nate, he died, and that’s it. But what I’m saying is I don’t wantyouto grow a conscience after all this.”
He stares at me, that same chilling, unblinking glare he’s been giving me since he let me see the real Easton.
“What do you mean?” I ask when the silence between us grows uncomfortable. The rain starts to patter loudly on the car.
“You might still want to be a ‘good person.’ But I’m telling you there’s no such thing. I’m doing you a favor. Know that.”
I scoff. “How so?”
“Because usually I don’t leave people alive when they see the real me and not the mask I wear every day to fool them. But I’m letting you live because I admire the game you’re playing.” He grins. “And, honestly, it’s the most fun I’ve had in years.”
Christ, he really is a psychopath. I’ve been panicked and terrified for weeks—all of it rising to a crescendo tonight. But for him, the past few weeks have beenfun. My stomach turns at the thought, probably curdling the ice cream.
“So you can keep your little game going until you leave. But I’m telling you, do not grow a conscience. Because if you do...” He switches over to a fake nervous voice. “We were having ice cream and he started yelling at me because I told him Miles was using him for his podcast. After that he ran off. I don’t know where he went, but now that you mention it, maybe hedidrun back up to the cliff to smoke with JT. Oh no. You mean he’s not my brother? Detective, do you think he could have been smoking with JT and accidentally said something he wasn’t supposed to?” He goes back to his normal voice. “I don’t need to be that obvious, but you get the point.”
The chill spreading across my body almost makes me shudder, but I try to hide it. I don’t want him to see how he’s getting to me. He’ll frame me for JT’s murder. And if I’m the liar here—without proof that Easton really did kill Nate and JT—then that also gives me a motive.
Tears blur my vision, and I look away from him, trying to hide it. “Why did you kill him?”
“Because I had to prove a point to you. You wouldn’t have believed me if I just told you I killed Nate.”
Hedidtell me and I didn’t believe him. Not until he killed JT. Until he let me see his real self. The anger and hatred in his eyes.
“He was your friend,” I say, my throat tightening around the words.
“He was a tool. And I mean that in both ways. Yes, he was a loser and a stoner. But he helped me blend in. If you go too long without friends, people think you’re antisocial. JT was too stupid to ever realize who I truly am. Even when I slipped up around him, he made it a joke. And with him, I didn’t need to try to impress people at school. He’d do it all on his own, because he had to be the center of attention. And that took the focus off me. People weren’t thinking,Whois that weird guy hanging out with JT?They were thinking,Easton is so lucky to be friends with someone like JT.But high school’s over. He’s outlived his usefulness.”
“So you killed him?”
“To prove a point. Yes.”
“You’re insane.”
He shrugs. “Or I’m like everyone else. Except I’m not afraid to live the life I want.”
“And that’s why you killed Nate? Because you wanted to be the only child?”
Easton grabs the steering wheel and his knuckles crack. “Stop. Looking. For a reason. I told you there is nomeaningin life. There’s noGod, there’s no greater power. If there were, I wouldn’t have gotten away with it.”
