“Yeah, but dying wouldn’t be ideal for me.”
“It’s not ideal for any of us,” Cal says. “But we’re risking our lives, too. Look, if you don’t want to be involved, you can leave. We don’tneed you as bait; they’ll let us in regardless. But you can’t have any other role in this, because if they find out who you are, we all go back to square one in terms of gaining their trust.”
Of course I can leave, but then I wouldn’t know what happens in Fort Caroline. And I especially want to know what happens to Danny Rosewood.
I want to stop him from ever hurting someone else again.
“What about Niki and the other people of color who are with us? Has Denton told you about the lack of diversity in Fort Caroline?”
“He has, but according to him, they’ve never turned anyone away, and they don’t kill anyone because of the color of their skin. It’s more aggressively making those folks feel unwelcome.”
That doesn’t make me feel better.
“Unwelcome how?”
He looks at me like I’m being dense, and he’s right—I do know exactly how they’d do that. It was similar in the mainly white, conservative town near my mom’s cabin.
“Just tell me you have a plan to keep them safe.”
“Niki is coming into town with us. She says she wants to, and I know she can take care of herself. I’ve seen her do it. I’ve also seen Carlos, Helena, and William take care of themselves, and I know they can handle it.” He points to a wooded area on the map by the highway. “But if it makes you feel better, anyone who feels they’re actively being targeted—regardless of the color of their skin—there’s going to be a group here camping and waiting for us. Denton says no one takes the road next to it, so it’s the safest place. And they’re our backup if things get bad.”
I stare at the atlas. It’s not a foolproof plan by any means. But I do want to check with Niki one last time before we get too close. She still has time to turn around and go home if she wants.
“Okay,” I say. “I’m in. But if it looks like they’re about to kill me before Rosewood is killed, I’m doing what I can to take him out.”
Cal laughs. “Trust me, he’ll be taken out before anyone even thinks of killing you.”
“I don’t mean taken out of power; I mean killed.” I watch the men’s faces, trying to decipher their looks, making sure they understand it’s important that Rosewood dies. If I die doing this, I can’t let him come after anyone else.
But they all just nod.
“Understood,” says Cal. “We’re just finishing up, anything else you want to add?”
“No. Thanks.”
“Get some sleep, everyone,” he says, rolling up the maps and stacking the papers. We all leave the RV, and I go over to my sleeping bag, where Niki is waiting for me.
“They talked to you already?” I ask.
She nods. “I also spoke with Denton. I know how the people in Fort Caroline are, and I know what to expect. To be fair, I’m a Black woman who grew up in Arkansas. I know how to stay out of trouble. Even if other people are looking to put me in it.”
I nod. “I know you do. And I know this is your decision—”
She interrupts me. “Yes. And I like you, Jamie, but I’m not doing this for you. I don’t think Cal is either. I’m doing this for Jamar. Because when the last settlement tried to throw him in jail for keepingmy grandma alive, and I took his place, I swore I’d do anything to protect him. And that means doing this. Making sure these people don’t find their way to Faraway.”
“In case no one told you recently, you’re a great sister.”
She chuckles, shaking her head. “Tell me that again when there’s a prize for it.” I laugh and she grows serious. “And, Jamison, tell me that again when we make it through this.”
I nod. She gets into her sleeping bag, and my eyes survey the camp for Denton, finding him sitting by a fire. He’s not talking to anyone, just watching the flames.
Then, as if he can feel my eyes on him, he looks up. I lie down quickly, pulling up my sleeping bag and closing my eyes.
The next day, we don’t get going until a little after noon. I’m back in the truck bed again and the cold wind whips around the winter coat I stitched together from the pieces Andrew and I found. Niki is next to me, nervously chewing at her chapped lips. I pull a knit cap down over my ears and bury my face against my knees.
At least it’s not raining.
My stomach is a sea of nerves. It hits me in waves, getting stronger and stronger the longer I sit in silence, like a tide coming in. I try to breathe deeply and purposefully. With the wind, it’s easier to let out the shuddering, nervous breaths without anyone hearing.
