“Why did you let me sleep so late?”
“Because you needed to. What time did you even fall asleep?”
I have no idea, but it was probably very late. I get up and go check on Kelly. With Daphne gone, all these kids have lost another parental figure. Now it’s just the two of us on Team Orphan.
“We have to do something with her,” Kelly says, looking over my shoulder at the soaking-wet blanket lying over Daphne’s body. “The kids can’t keep looking over and seeing her.”
I nod. “I’ll ask the Nomads if they have a shovel. Maybe we canfind a nice place nearby to bury her. Do you think the kids will like that? I mean, notlikeit. But I mean, do you think it will help?”
“I do. A lot of them didn’t get funerals when their parents died, and we never got to have one for Liz and the other kids, so it might be a way to get closure.”
True.
I go over to Niki because she’s the one we have the best relationship with. She shakes her head.
“I asked yesterday when I heard, but they only have garden spades for... you know.”
I nod. We have some, too. And I’m not about to bury Daphne with the shit trowel.
“I’m really sorry,” she says.
“Thanks.”
I start toward the camp but the heaviness presses down on my chest. It’s almost hard to breathe. Jamie must see it because he says something to Cara and jogs across the parking lot to me.
“You okay?”
I shake my head. Taylor is looking at me now. The Kid, too. And a few of the others. I fake a sad smile and try to hide behind Jamie’s torso.
“I need to go have a mental breakdown away from the kids.”
Jamie nods and looks out over the parking lot. Then he takes my good hand and squeezes it gently. “C’mon.”
I let him lead me away as silent tears stream down my face. He takes me around the side of the amusement park to the staff entrance.
“We need to get in there,” Jamie tells the three Nomads guardingit. “We’re trying to keep up a front around the kids, but he needs somewhere away from them to grieve for a bit.”
One of them, a woman with curly auburn hair and a freckled nose, nods and pushes open the door for us. “Go ahead. We’re sorry for your loss.” The lock has been broken and lies in pieces on the other side of the door.
As soon as it shuts behind us we take several long strides into the park. I turn abruptly and wrap my good arm around Jamie’s neck. He hugs me gently against him, careful about my injured arm. It hurts. Everything does. I bury my face against his chest and sob again.
“I know,” he says. It’s raining and we’re both soaked, but I don’t care. I just needed to break down. To let this all out without the kids seeing.
I know the Keys Committee put me with Daphne because she requested it after I got kicked off the boat. I also know she requested it because she saw me as one of those orphans, too. She pretended that I was the “helper” and, yes, I did help. But all along, she was watching after me, too.
And now she’s gone.
“Come on,” Jamie says when my cries start to slow. “Let’s get out of the rain.”
I let him lead me past silent, broken-down rides. A carousel, a drop tower, bumper cars, a two-story slide. He’s heading toward a covered concession area when I stop him.
To our right is a red, pink, and purple building. Above it, a dark sign lined with heart-shaped lights reads “Jingle Jaguar’s Tunnel of Love.” A cartoon jaguar wearing a raspberry beret winks suggestivelyat us from the corner of the sign.
Jamie smirks and shakes his head but lets me lead him to the ride entrance, a covered platform that shelters us from the rain. The ride track before us looks like it used to be filled with water. But there are only small puddles left beneath the red-and-pink heart-shaped boats. The track that steered the boats is rusted.
There’s a red plexiglass-covered control booth to our left. I push gently on the door, expecting it to be locked, but it swings open. I step inside and Jamie follows me. There are four dark monitors, no doubt used to make sure nothing untoward was happening in the tunnel of love—or maybe towatchthe untowardness. The controls are simple start and stop buttons, clearly labeled and colored green and red.
I press the green button, but of course nothing happens.
