“Double-checking our escape route.”
“Oh. Well, thank you.”
Amy joins us. Henri-Two is awake and babbling in her arms, refusing to let her mom put her in the sling. “And how does it look?”
“Complicated. But not impossible.”
I don’t like the sound of that. “Complicated how?”
“Andrew,” Daphne says, walking over to us, “do you have your water bottle?”
When he answers, he sounds annoyed. “Seriously? Yes.” She puts her hands up and retreats to the kids, but it also reminds me to reach back and feel the side of my own bag to make sure mine is there.
“The gate across the bridge on Route 1 was destroyed in the storm, so the intersection where it meets up with 905 is heavily guarded. We need to be especially careful around there. It’s a quiet night and there’s no reason to think they’re on high alert—”
“But they will be if they notice us missing,” Amy says.
Rocky Horror nods. “Exactly.”
“What’s going to happen if they catch us?” I ask. If they’re planning to turn me over, they won’t shoot me. But I don’t want the others getting hurt if they’re only looking out for me.
And I don’t want to say it out loud to anyone here, but if we have to run or figure out some other means of fast escape, the kids are going to slow us down.
“I say we worry about that bridge when it collapses, yes?” Rocky Horror says.
Andrew seems okay with that answer, but I’m not. When the others go back to Daphne, I pull him aside.
“They only want me,” I say. “Maybe we should split up and meetback with the others when it’s safe?”
“Okay, when will it be safe?” he asks.
I don’t know what to say, and he pounces on it.
“Exactly. We’re sticking together, Jamie.” He goes over to the others without another word. I could sneak away right now. They’re all distracted, getting the kids together. I could just run up the road. In the darkness, they wouldn’t be able to find me.
But even now I can’t leave Andrew. I clench my fists as the familiar wave of frustration comes back. Every time I think about Fort Caroline, and Danny Rosewood in particular, a pit of fire in my stomach tightens every muscle in my body. I picture Rosewood’s son Harvey and his friend Walt holding us at gunpoint by a river. And I play through the whole scene again, only Harvey’s friend Walt turns into Danny Rosewood halfway through. And this time I shoothim. Over and over. Then we’d never have to worry about Fort Caroline again.
“You ready?”
Andrew’s voice snaps me out of the fantasy.
“Yeah.” My voice sounds weak, and I feel a little clammy.
“You okay?” he asks, lowering his voice.
“Just anxious,” I lie. Because I am not okay. I’ve had dreams like that fantasy—nightmares. In each one I kill Danny Rosewood instead, and every time all I feel is relief. Unlike the guilt, anger, and disgust I felt when I shot his son.
Every time I see Danny Rosewood die, I feel better. Like I can breathe.
And sometimes that scares me.
“Let’s go,” I say before Andrew can ask me anything else. And I take his hand and join the others.
We see the guards’ flashlights before we even get to the intersection of Route 1 and 905. We extinguished our own lights a quarter mile back, and all of us are holding hands in the darkness. Every couple of minutes Daphne tells the kids to sound off and every time Andrew has to remind the Kid to say “here” since he won’t say his name.
“Okay,” Rocky Horror says quietly. “One last head count.”
Once we confirm everyone is here, Andrew takes my hand as Rocky Horror leads us off the road. Amy is all the way at the end of the line, holding Kelly’s hand and humming softly to Henri-Two, who is still fussing in her arms.
