He smiled, and I noticed his eyes looked a little glassy. ‘Yeah, just cold.’ He put his hands out to the fire. I decided to help him out. I knew why he was here, talking to me. New Year’s hadn’t really been the time to hook up, and he’d sensed that. But now that Gabe was far in my rearview, maybe all I needed was a good make-out-and-groping session to make me feel better.
‘My car’s out front,’ I said. ‘Do you want to … go …’ I glanced back to make sure no one was coming over to us. ‘Hang out?’
For a second he looked surprised, and I regretted asking. Like maybe he reallyhadn’thad enough to drink, and he was on a not-gay kick.
But then he smiled and nodded.
‘Okay.’ I stood. ‘I’ll act like I’m going to the bathroom inside and just go out the front door. Come whenever you’re ready.’
He took another sip of his beer, and I made my way through the house out to my car.
About five minutes later, Brad pulled the back door open. I had already turned off the dome light, so we stayed in the darkness, the only light coming from the front porch of Charlie Matthews’s house. Brad had ditched the beer.
‘Hey,’ he said in the darkness. I could smell something minty on his breath and smiled. He had eaten a mint or chewed gum to get rid of the beer taste.
‘Hi,’ I said, and reached over to him, pulling him closer.
Our lips met in the darkness, but I overestimated the distance, and our teeth clacked together.
‘Oh, shit.’ He pulled away, putting his hand to his mouth.
‘You okay?’ I asked.
‘Yeah, you?’
I ran my tongue over my teeth; they were still smooth. ‘No chips.’
‘If there were, I could just say I took a puck to the face during a game,’ he said. ‘What would your excuse be?’
‘I’m an overzealous kisser.’ Brad laughed in the darkness. ‘I feel honesty is the best policy when it comes to dental work.’
Brad put his hand on my cheek; this time he brought me closer to him. He kissed me gently, his tongue darting across my lip. ‘I like that about you,’ he whispered.
Something about the way he said that gave me chills, but I ignored them and pulled him closer. He climbed on top of me, and I wrapped my legs around him. His legs were too long for the back seat, so he braced himself against the floor and ground against me.
In moments, we were both panting, all tangled limbs as our hands moved across each other’s bodies. I could feel sweat on his forehead, so I started to push his jacket off.
Pain snapped me out of the heated moment, and I gasped.
‘What’s wrong?’ Brad asked, pulling away from me. I sat up and took out my phone, unlocking the screen and holding it up to my injured fingers. I had used my left hand to try to take Brad’s jacket off and wasn’t careful.
I paused, staring at the bandage. Waiting to see if I had broken the stitches and my finger was falling off again. The fingers throbbed, matching pace with my racing heart, while my hard-on disappeared to the same beat.
‘Are you okay?’
I nodded. No blood on the bandage. ‘Sorry,’ I said. I locked the phone and climbed onto Brad’s lap, refusing to let the pain ruin this. This was supposed to be cathartic humping, so I wouldn’t have to think of Gabe.
But every time my fingers throbbed, an image of him flashed in my head. Gabe and Vic. Gabe and me.
I pulled away from Brad’s lips, letting out a frustrated sigh and rolling over to the other side of the back seat.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘My fingers hurt – sorry. It happens now sometimes and just kinda … takes me out of it.’
‘It’s okay.’ He turned his body toward me, and even in the darkness I could see a wry smile on his face. ‘Remember last summer when I saw you at Tim Costas’s party?’
I tried to think back, and all at once the memory returned. It wasn’t much of a party, just a bunch of people from school who wanted to use Tim’s pool. And I absolutely remembered Brad being there – because he gave me the cold shoulder.
