‘Who are you talking to over there?’ my mom asked. ‘Friend from work.’
‘A friend or a … “friend”?’ I saw her do bunny quotes out of the corner of my eye.
‘Friend, Mother.’ My chest tightened a bit. I wondered how bad it would be if I gave her a small hint that I wanted him to be more than a friend. Or even just the sex of the friend. ‘You’ve met him.’
I turned to check her face. To see if she looked surprised. But she looked like she was running the pictures of everyone I worked with through her head.
‘Not that burnout Luke?’ I laughed and said no. ‘Oh, the one I met on his first day.’
‘Gabe, yes. That’s the one.’
She smiled brightly. ‘Tell him I said hi!’
‘I will.’
Mymom says hi.
Hi Mom!
‘He asked if you’re single and wants your number.’
My mom groaned and sat up on the couch. ‘You’re a wretched child, you know that? I’m heading up. Record the rest of this for me. From tomorrow on, it’s all holiday cookie challenges.’
I grabbed the remote from the coffee table and started recording the show. There were only fifteen minutes left.
‘Good night, sweetie.’ She kissed me on the forehead and headed for the stairs. ‘Great job on the pie as always.’
‘Pumpkin crust wasn’t flaky enough. I need to put more vodka in it next time.’
She stopped halfway up the stairs, pointing at me. ‘I marked that bottle, by the way.’
‘Ew, Mom. You know I don’t drink that cheap stuff. It’s Belvedere or nothing for moi.’
She stared at me, trying to figure out if I was joking or not.
‘Yes, it was a joke.’ I’d drink the cheap stuff in a pinch. ‘Good night.’
I asked Gabe how much longer his HBO show was, and if he wanted to watchParks and Rectogether.
Thought you and your mom were watching some Food Network thing.
We were. She went up to bed and asked me to record the rest for her.
My phone buzzed in my hand, informing me that Gabriel De La WHORE-a, President and CEO of De La Whore-a Phone-Sex Hotline was calling me. I chuckled again at the words scrolling across the screen before answering.
‘Let’s watch this Food Network thing. I’ve never seen it before.’
‘It’s just a low-stakes cooking competition show.’
‘I need low-stakes. I just spent six hours with my extended family and followed it up by watching a bunch of robots take over the world. Now tell me what this dude is doing with the pumpkin pie.’
I stifled a yawn and told him it was sweet potato pie, then walked him through everything the chef had done so far. After the episode was over, another started up, and I set a recording so the DVR saved it for my mom. We talked through the episode and into the next until finally I said what I’d been working up to over the past hour and a half. What I had been wondering for weeks but wasn’t sure how to say.
‘Do you think it’s weird we watch TV together more than we see each other?’
He was silent for a minute. ‘Probably.’
‘Like, how many other people are you watching TV shows or movies with?’
