‘I went over to her and said hello. I was about to ask if she remembered me, but, my God, the way the woman blanched you’d have thought I was a ghost. She had her daughter sitting in the cart, and she introduced me as a friend from school. I’m not proud to say I took a little joy in introducing her to my girl, seeing the look on her face. I’m glad her husband wasn’t there, because I probably would have had that same look. I saw pictures of him later – he was one of those beefy football types. Looked like a real dummy. You know, your type, Al.’
Al laughed into his coffee, spilling a bit on his lap.
‘Join the club,’ I whispered to him. Willa shook her head, like she thought we were hopeless, and I turned my attention back to her. ‘Did you … get her number or something?’ I asked.
Ms Vaughn looked scandalized. ‘God, no. I was with someone, and she was married with children. I’m not a homewrecker.’
My own stomach filled with familiar guilt at the word.
‘Anyway, jump ahead again to 1988. I went to an ACT UP meeting, and wouldn’t you know it, there she was.’
Al turned to me. ‘Do you know what ACT UP is?’
I shook my head and Willa groaned, but Al looked unsurprised.
He said, ‘It’s an AIDS political activism group.’
I raised my eyebrows in surprise. ‘She was at an AIDS activist group?’
Ms Vaughn nodded. ‘She was. Her baby brother had died from AIDS the year before – she didn’t even know he was gay. She was the only one of her siblings who went to the funeral. Awful. I learned about all this over coffee after the meeting. And … that she had also gotten a divorce.’
My jaw dropped. ‘And you two started dating?’
‘We did not. She was dating another woman at the time.’
‘This is a terrible story, Willa,’ Al said. It was reminding me of Gabe’s movie,In the Mood for Love. How those characters never had their chance to be together.
Willa held up a hand. ‘It’s not over, calm down. Despite that we stayed friendly, saw each other out at the bars, I went to parties at their apartment. Then finally one day in 1998, she was single, I was single. So we went out on a date, and eventually we moved in together.’
‘You mean on the second date?’ Al asked.
‘Of course – we’re lesbians, not Catholics.’
Al and I laughed. It seemed like that could be the happy ending to the story, and we could leave it at that; Willa had gone quiet, so she seemed to think it could end there. But Phyl wasn’t sitting with us. And I couldn’t leave well enough alone.
‘What happened then?’
Willa smiled like she was happy I’d chosen to know the real ending. ‘She lives in California with her wife now. They own a vineyard near Los Olivos, and she’s a big old hippie with a hippie blended family. It’s wonderful. Also they ship me cases of wine every December.’
Al pointed at her. ‘That’s the stuff we drank last New Year’s?’ Willa nodded. ‘Oh! It’sfabulous. Do you have any more bottles? I want a nightcap.’
‘Of course, dear.’
I held up my hand. ‘But hold on – you guys waited all that time and nothing happened.’
Willa seemed annoyed. ‘First off, neither of us waswaitingfor anything. She had a family. Second, plenty happened. Just because it didn’t work out and we aren’t still together doesn’t mean nothing happened. That’s my point, hon.’
Hon. Willa Vaughn called me ‘hon’.
‘I know you’re young, and young people don’t listen to older people who know better, but my point is, forcing things to work out doesn’t usually help. What would have happened if I’d disrespected her wishes and shown up at her house or interrupted her wedding? I would have pushed her away, and when I saw her again at the ACT UP meeting we might not have even spoken. And I still resent you saying I waswaitingfor her my whole life. There were times I thought about her, yes, as one does. But to not live your life because you like someone … that’s just silly.’
She took a sip of her lemon water, then placed it back on the table. She turned to me and looked directly into my eyes.
‘All I’m saying is, find the person who gives you what you want. Don’t wait for the person you want to finally figure out what that is. We’ll leave you with that.’ She patted my hand and put her napkin on the table. ‘Al, shall we take our nightcap?’
‘Great idea.’
‘Hold on,’ I said as they both stood. ‘Was this just … a gay intervention?’
