This was how it should have gone with Gabe. If Vic wasn’t around, this is how it all could have happened. Instead, it was Brad. Brad, who ignored me at school but searched me out at parties in hopes of this fleeting moment where he could be himself.
I felt bad for him. I felt bad for me.
But this was better than nothing. And it was better than wishing it were Gabe.
I didn’t wish that anymore, because what Brad and I were doing was an exorcism. We were expelling the demons and memories from this place. The kiss where I know Gabe kissed back. Iknowhe kissed back, and this is how itshouldhave gone.
My phone vibrated in the inside pocket of my jacket.
‘Do you need to get that?’ Brad asked. But he kissed me again before I could answer, grabbing at my ass through my poly-blend pants.
‘It’s probably just Ava.’
It vibrated again. A text. She most likely wanted to leave and was wondering where I was.
‘I’ll text her back in a second.’ I pulled Brad back onto my lips, and he laughed through his nose.
Another vibration.
Then another.
And another.
‘Jesus.’ I put a hand against Brad’s chest, pushing him away, and took out my phone.
But it wasn’t Ava. The notification saidGabe De La WHORE-a. I didn’t smile.
‘One sec.’ I pushed Brad back a bit farther. There were five messages. Each one a different knife in a different part of my body.
Did you leave?
SorryI miss you.
*missed
But I do that, too. Miss you.
Oof.That’s definitely an embarrassing drunk text to send. UNDO! UNDO!DELETE!
Another was delivered as I was reading.
Drunk Thomas if you’re reading these delete them before soberThomas comes back! Drunk Gabe will owe you ice cream!
‘Everything all right?’ Brad asked.
‘Yeah,’ I said. Drunk Thomas took Drunk Gabe’s advice and started deleting the messages. ‘I have to find Ava. She’s puking and wants to head home.’
‘I can drive you guys if you want.’ He seemed nervous. And it took me a second to realize that it was because he was probably anxious that Ava would think we were doing more than just making out every once in a while. He knew she could keep a secret, since she had already walked in on us, but it probably still worried him.
I deleted every single text except the one that saidBut I do that, too. Miss you.My finger hovered over the red rectangle that screamedDELETE.
‘No, that’s all right. Morgan drove us. She hasn’t been drinking.’
‘I can takeyouhome, if you want.’ He quirked his eyebrows in the moonlight. That still managed to make my stomach twist, but not enough.
‘I should get going.’ I gave him a friendly smile back and grabbed his disheveled tie, pulling him to me. ‘One for the road?’
This kiss was sweet. Neither of us lost in the musk of horny hormonalness. Brad’s lips were soft and gentle, and he pressed his large hand to the small of my back.
