“The neutralizer,” I say, despite myself. “He needs it for his plan to work.” I look around. “So… if we want to stop the Determinists, we steal the neutralizer?”
The mood of the room shifts.
“Keep talking,” says Toph’s voice (his head is somewhere above the doorframe).
“We already know Doc Min plans to return to Venthros at the start of the eruption,” I say, wiping water from my chin. “He’ll deploy ships todistribute the neutralizer and collect his oaths. What if we stole the neutralizer and just… gave it away for free? To everyone, no pledge required. Thenwewould be the heroes.”
Everyone is nodding their agreement. But I still have that feeling in my chest, the emptiness where there should be hope and resolve. Defeating the Determinists, outsmarting Ran Doc Min, it just seems so unachievable. Too much could go wrong. Too much has gone wrong already.
“I’m in,” says Toph.
“Have a skipper,” Caspen agrees.
“There will be time for death later,” Illiviamona notes dolefully.
One by one, everyone offers their willingness until it’s just Vera and me left.
“Well?” she says, trying to sound cheerful even though her eyes are red. “A possibly deadly mission where the odds of success are close to zero. Isn’t this why you joined the Legion?”
“It’s not, actually.”
She hitches a watery smile. “But you’re up for it anyway.”
I look around at my fleetmates. Vera, Jester, Toph, Avi, the Youvu Hums, Caspen, Illiviamona. They’d fly to a dying planet to help save it because it’s the right thing to do. And maybe, a little bit, because it’s mine. I see the encouragement in their eyes, the support and the strength. And… their presence is steadying. It eases the pain a little, lets me suck in a breath that feels less shallow. I didn’t choose these people. This unlikely family. And I’m notokay, having them here doesn’t make thingsokay, but it does make it bearable. Because I’m not alone.
I return Vera’s small smile with my own. The others are still watching me, waiting for my answer, and I’m almost ready to give it. But there’s something I need to do first.
“I’ll be right back.”
I take the narrow stairs up to the second floor. Lament is sitting alone in our shared room, his forearms braced on his knees, head hanging. He looks up when I enter. Wipes his eyes roughly.
“Hey,” I say softly.
He clears his throat and doesn’t immediately order me out, which I take as a good sign. “Hey.”
“I’m… this seems so inadequate…” I shift on my feet, hovering by the door. “But I’m sorry, Lament. I can’t tell you how sorry.”
He turns his head slightly away, exposing the vulnerable curve of his neck. “I know.”
“I would take it all back if I could. Honest to stars. I’d go straight back to the day my mom left and find a way to change things. If I’d had any idea… you have toknowI never wanted—”
“I know,” he says again.
“I understand if you hate me now.”
He shakes his head. “I told you already, I don’t.” But he looks like he wants me to leave.
I will. I’ll give him the space he needs. But first: “Do you want to avenge Bast?”
Lament doesn’t quite sigh, but his annoyance is obvious. “For the last time, Hartman, this isn’t some storybook. We’re not superheroes who go aroundavengingpeople—”
“I’m being serious. If there was a way to punish the Determinists for what they did. To uproot Doc Min and make him pay…”
“There isn’t.”
“But if therewas, would you do it?”
He’s looking at me now. Cautious but not, I note, entirely unreceptive. “Why are you asking?”
