She blinked up. Venick’s hair was in his face. His eyes were huge, hands half lifted, as if he had decided to pull her to him after all. Standing there like that, hovering and uncertain, he looked the way she felt: as if he had been squeezed dry.
Ellina took a shaky breath, then made a hand motion forI am fine.Venick’s eyes lingered. He did not look convinced.
The conjuror was dragged before them.
“The prisons,” Venick ordered, “with six men to guard her. Once she’s secure, find Erol. Have him tend to that wound. I want her to live.”
This command was obeyed without question. One of the men snapped a quick salute, collected the rest of the troops with a gesture. He was young, Ellina noted, which was good. His inexperience might be enough to override any questions…like why Venick wanted to keep the conjuror alive rather than simply slit her throat.
Silence settled over the riverbank. Around them, the Taro’s steam suffused the air, dampening the winter chill. Ellina realized she was still clutching her knife. The hilt was sticky under her fingers. Her hand looked dipped in blood. She was glad for an excuse to avoid Venick’s gaze while she cleaned the blade and sheathed it.
“Your dagger,” Venick noted, seeing the empty scabbard at her hip. “Did you throw it? Here, I’ll help you look.”
It did not take long to find the missing blade and return it to Ellina’s belt. Much less time, in fact, than Ellina would have liked, because as soon as the weapon was recovered, that same uncertain silence descended once more.
They fell into step towards the baron’s house.
“I don’t know how you saw it,” Venick said after a time. His head was bowed a little, his hands stuffed into his pockets. “Earlier, I mean. In the ballroom. How did you notice the corpse when no one else did? Or the conjuror through the window? It was pitch black outside.”
Ellina studied a nearby fountain. No water poured from its spigots, though whether that was because the fountain was broken, or because the water was frozen, she did not know.
She shrugged.
“Don’t do that.” He turned towards her without breaking stride. “Don’t pretend like what you’re doing isn’t worth something. You saved my life tonight. That’s—gods, four times now? Five? I’m beginning to lose count.”
The baron’s house came into view, nestled quietly on its hill. A red flag had been unfurled, hanging from the third-story balcony like a pronged tongue. A signal of distress, though the house itself was quiet, with no hint of the violence that had occurred there.
Now that her adrenaline was draining away, Ellina was beginning to feel the full aftereffects of the fight. Her side ached. Her eyes were heavy, her bones loose in their sockets. She had done too much too quickly. She would pay for this.
Ellina found the path and started towards the home’s entrance. It took her several steps to realize that Venick was no longer beside her.
“Ellina. Wait.”
Light from the house glowed over the grounds. It touched Venick where he had halted, illuminating one side of him, throwing the other into shadow. One eye, one cheekbone. Those lips. Half a man.
He said, “I think I owe you an explanation.”
Ellina tucked her hands under her arms, chilled. She knew what he wanted to explain. But she did not want to talk about this.
“When I was in Parith, I thought we were enemies. You’d chosen Farah’s side. You said you wanted me dead, that you’d kill me yourself. And then in Irek…you were there during the attack. That fire. The ambush. I thought…”
She saw that fire in her memory. A sky rent open with black powder. A city up in flames.
“I blamed you,” Venick admitted, wretched. “I blamed you for everything. The destruction of my home. Rahven. My mother. Youletme blame you.”
Ellina looked out across the frosty lawn. The wind was picking up. It pushed across her clothes, her face. She allowed herself to believe that was why her eyes stung, why her chest felt too tight.
“Harmon kissed me,” Venick said, turning to bring his profile fully into the light. His pupils were blown wide. His throat worked as he swallowed. “I let her. I shouldn’t have. But she wanted me, and you didn’t, and—gods, I don’t know, Ellina. Maybe it felt good to be wanted by someone.”
Ellina inhaled a ragged breath. Tried to let it out softly, so that he would not hear. She did not want him to hear the evidence of her pain. He had all the power, and she had none, and this breath was one small thing, but it was something. She clung to it, because she needed something to cling to that was not him.
“It was one kiss,” Venick said. “Nothing more. There are no real promises between Harmon and me. You know that, don’t you?”
Ellina didknow that…mostly. Yet it was impossible to ignore the gnawing doubt she felt every time she looked at Venick. The way her heart ached, and reached, and was denied. If things were as simple as he said, why was there a wall between them, thicker and higher than ever before?
Ellina stared at the path, the little imperfections highlighted by weak light. Her thoughts continued to tumble, but like water over a waterfall, they began to lose their shape. They crashed and collided, dispensing into a roaring mist.
She was exhausted. She exhausted herself.
